Before: Sodervik, Sweden
Erik
There is not much to do in town. Well that is what my girlfriend says. Nicole. But is not true. There is fishing and hunting. I go with the guys, well I used to. Know I see the guys once in a while. Janne says I should not get married.
"Don't do it Erik. Marriage only leads to trouble."
I love Nicole. We will be all right. In a few days I will marry. Me, marry. Janne is wrong. Being marry will not change anything. Sure Nicole gets angry when I go out with Janne. Calls him a good for nothing, well she thinks that about all my friends. About Max, Tim, and Nate. The face that she makes when they come over, ah and she complaints too much. What is wrong with drinking? Drinking relaxes me and takes some of the stress out. She says I need help. That I drink too much. Then how much is too much.
Her parents also do not approve, they made her cry, said they won't come to the wedding. Well I told Nicole to let them be. Who cares? She is the one marrying me, not them....
Nicole
I am happy. But, is too soon. I don't know. Out of nowhere Erik ask me to marry him. I said yes. Saying yes felt wrong, I didn't feel anything. I should be thrill, and jumping but no. But now is done. I love Erik, he loves me. We will be happy somehow. Maybe after we are married things will be good. He will stop drinking, become someone new. I told my friend Jenny who got marry to Steve a while back. About this doubt, she said not to worry, it was just the wedding jitters. Once I marry I will see how my life will change. My parents got angry, well at least I proved them wrong. They said he would never marry me and that he was too immature. But worst was his drinking. I got angry, told them that he had promised to stop drinking once we were married. That he would not see his friends. That he would leave that life behind. Erik and I will start our new life in a few days.
After: Blackeberg, Sweden
Erik
Nicole only nags me day after day. So what if I keep losing the jobs I get. That I drink too much. That I broke my promise. Why is Janne here with me the whole time? That she works hard on the store and that she is going to have to leave school. Blah. It was her idea to move to this town. Nothing to do for me except to drink. She says she deserves better. That's why I drink to forget that I fail her I tell her. Does she think I am happy? Working in some factory carrying boxes, or on some train station picking up trash. Back at Sodervik I had my fishing, my friends, here all I have is this, this drink. Beer is my only friend.
Nicole
Is too much, Erik keeps drinking. I come home everyday and see him drink, beers are thrown on the floor. The neighbors complain. When he drinks too much I become scare, I hide in the room. Hear his screams, his cries, after he calms down he calls my name. Says it isn't fair, that he has his own life to live. I did not imagine thinks could be this way....
Erik:
Things are a little better, we have a son named Oskar. I will change for him. I can be someone better.
Nicole:
He promised he would change now that we have a son, but it has been two years since that and he still drinks, screams, he frightens Oskar, is for the best I tell him to leave...
Erik:
So I do, I will leave, and go and live my life, because then I can do what I want!
Nicole:
I struggle to keep up, Oskar and me we are drifting, he isn't my baby anymore, he is growing up, he lies to me about what happens in school, thinks that I don't know,but I do Oskar I do,is just that time and this life have finish me, I know about that friend you see at night, how happy you are with her, I wish I could tell you to bring her over, so that we can meet, but this life is taking you away from me...
Erik:
So Oskar is gone, and Nicole desperately looks for him, but I keep drinking I keep drinking because I feel that is all my fault, and I don't know what to do except drink every day and hope Oskar will be here when I open my eyes...
Now:
Nicole:
Oskar I search for you still even after you are gone, I wait for you every night, I am still here you know for if one day you decide to visit me, but somehow I imagine that were you are, you are happy... Sometimes I think that you are with your friend,with her laughing in the night....