The day should be for activity, to walk to school and see your shadow following, knowing that your shadow is your companionship even if you have no friends...
For going to eat, to some restaurant that you have want to try for a long time, that is by your way to work, and today you have decided that you will go today no matter what! The day is shiny, the sky is blue, your skin absorbs the sun's rays, you feel the warmth, the freshness, and that even though this is just a dream, but when you wake up you can still go!
But this isn't true. Not for me, as I must sleep during the day, my whole body shuts down, and later when the sun goes to shine the other side of the world, the night comes, without a moon or no moon, shocking my body to life. And I wake up, just like I do now, in this tub, with dirty blankets covering me. Hakan asked me a while back, "why sleep in a tub?"
And I could only answer "I just do." There was no reason, one day I got tired of sleeping in a dark room, maybe later I might get tired of sleeping in the tub, and rest in some other place.
I look at the plastic jug, a few red drops remain, for now though that hunger is gone, that is what is good though, not having to worry about eating, that comes only every two weeks, the most difficult part I suppose, is to find a place to sleep, maybe if Hakan can do his job, then...
But somehow I get the feeling I will have to replace him soon. Usually after he does his job, he starts his "why do I do this?" speech, follow by a night of drinking in town, And once I go into the living room my suspicions are correct. There he is, drunk on the floor, I lay next to him for a second, try to imagine what is like to be him. But he has it better.
"You at least can one day stop and look for another life." I whisper to him, but he is too drunk.
I get up. I on the other hand, have to keep living this way, because I just want to, because there is no other way.
I look out the window, the cold night, and what if there was another way to live, and just as I am thinking of going outside, there is a shadow outside by the tree....
Is it that boy?
