Note for Swedish readers: This is the English translation. You can also find the original Swedish version called Ett nytt liv - Elis perspektiv on this site.
This piece of fan fiction is based on John Ajvide Lindqvist’s novel Låt den rätte komma in. Features that have been fetched from the novel are his work, however, he is in no way responsible for the work below.
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“Eli. We'll be together forever. I don’t want to grow up. You have to infect me.”
Elias had been a child, he had not seen the poverty and oppression he and his family lived in, but he had felt safe, for his parents and his siblings had loved him. Then he had been snatched away from this life into a nightmare of inexplicable pain and humiliation. But the world, the basic structure of his existence had still been the same. The frightening and threatening had been something that existed outside of him, he had a sanctuary and a fixed point that he could stick to. His soul had remained intact, he had still been Elias.
Now, his very existence had finally crumbled, a threat had forced its way in, it had become a part of him. Something had taken place within him, had made him filled with lust and desire for an evil he knew existed, but which was something against which one should protect oneself. He himself had become one of the evil beings who populated the stories he had heard during the dark nights in the cottage where he lived. His last safe haven had been taken from him.
The door opened, the funny man entered. He smiled, but it was not a friendly smile, rather it was malicious. He had a bowl, he put it down onto the floor. Then he took a stick and pushed the bowl closer to Elias.
“Supper, Elias, supper.”
The man stood in the door, waited, watched Elias interestedly. Elias cringed, he pulled away from the bowl and what was in it. He did not know what it was, he sensed it was something horrible. But the evil that had taken a seat in Elias woke up, felt the scent of what was in the bowl. Elias struggled, he fought for his existence as the being he was and wanted to remain, but in vain. He threw himself against the bowl, like an animal on all fours, and he began to slurp the contents. The funny man laughed.
“There, Elias, you did like it after all!”
The man stood and watched until the bowl was empty, until Elias had licked it completely clean. Then the evil withdrew. Elias' anguish and disgust finally had an outlet and he cried wildly and desolately. His cries echoed in the bare room. The man nodded. Then he went out of the room and shut the door behind him. Elias heard the bolts being closed and the locks turned.
Elias recognised the man who had been pushed through the door, he was one of all those poor landless men who lived in the estate. His hands were tied behind his back. Elias tried to look away, but the evil had come to life, a terrible, horrible hunger tore Elias. He stood up, the evil made him do it, but Elias knew it would end the man's life, he did not want this. A gurgling, inhuman sound came out of Elias' throat. Elias tried to fight back, he tried to save the man, but he was a prisoner in his own body, the evil had taken control.
Elias threw himself against the man, clawed his way up his body, bit and chewed on his neck. The man screamed; Elias saw, heard and felt how the man died because of his doings. He felt a tremendous sorrow, the man had always been kind to him. He had a wife and children, some of them had been Elias' playmates. Elias heard someone laugh, at the table the man in the wig sat, laughing. He held up his glass to Elias in a toast and laughed, a shrill and unloving laughter.
Afterwards the wigged man came to Elias. He leaned down towards him, looked inquisitively at him with his pale eyes. Elias tried to pull away, but the wall prevented him to. In the man's eyes Elias saw all the people, children and adults, who had to give their lives so that the man might continue living his miserable life for so many years. He saw how willing the man had received the evil and the long life he had been given, and how indifferent he was to the price all his victims had had to pay for that. And Elias saw why he himself still was alive, why he had not met the same fate as all the others and been allowed to die.
Elias had stopped fighting back, it was futile. He had accepted his fate as something inevitable. Now instead he withdrew when a new human being was sacrificed for him. He must protect himself against the evil. He could not avoid to experience what happened, but he did not need to be present, he did not have to let the evil emotions and impulses poison his soul. But then his brother came through the door.
He had not been able to withstand, not even this time, but he had understood that he had to flee. When they came for the body, he had thrown himself towards the door. His anguish and his urge to escape had awakened the evil which had given him powers he had not understood that he owned, and he had been able to push past the men there. The man in the wig had screamed, it had been a horrible shriek, shrill, piercing. But Elias had had too great a lead, and he had been strong of his brother's life, so he had managed to get out and away from the big house before the wigged man had caught up with him.
He had run all night, the evil had withdrawn, but he had still had access to the strength that enabled him to run that fast. He had received it, taken advantage of it, to save those that he loved. He had understood that he must leave his home, he would never again be able to return there. He had let the evil choose the direction, and he had run westward, into the deep and desolate forests of Kolmården.
At dawn he had long since left the landlord’s estates and influence far behind, but then he began to feel a discomfort, something menacing approached from behind, from the east. He had taken shelter in a burrow, and rested there through the day. The next nights he had continued in the same direction, until he finally had felt the hunger again. He then for the first time had faced the choice, and he had chosen to live.
Then the centuries had passed.
Eli was lying with his arms around Oscar in Maria's tiny apartment in Karlstad. He had made his decision, and he knew it he had made the right one. Oskar was infected, he would soon live under the same conditions as Eli. But Eli had had time to scrutinise himself, he had been forced to examine his life, the life he had now led also Oskar into.
The man in the wig had been evil. Eli had seen the man's soul and his life that time. The man had sworn himself to the evil, he had chosen his life. He had been a younger son of a nobleman, he would never inherit the estate and the sustenance. He had had no choice, he had become an officer, as many others in his situation. And it had been a time of war, Sweden had stood at the height of its power, Swedish armies had swept through Europe. So he had seen death, how it had snatched away friends and enemies. Then he had heard a rumour, a legend about something that sneaked around on the battlefields in the darkness and took them that were left behind, but had not yet died of their wounds. He had sought out the creature, and he had made an deal. The beast's life against his immortality.
Elias had never had any choice, but Oscar had chosen, he had made the same choice as the man in the wig had made. Eli had forced himself to see this truth, the thought had filled him with dread. But he had finally been able to see that the wig man had chosen out of fear and selfishness, while Oskar chose out of love. Eli hoped that this would make a difference, that he had not allowed himself to destroy a human being to create a monster.
This thought frightened Eli most of all, that perhaps he had destroyed something beautiful and created a beast. For that was what had been the wigged man's intention, that was why Elias had been allowed to live. He had been the most beautiful child ever seen, and the man in the wig had in his wickedness wanted to destroy this beauty and create a horrible monster, as shrivelled in its soul as he was himself. He had wanted to create a vampire child, as an ultimate horror, to make a mockery of God's creation. Eli had known this, the man in the wig had let him know it, to further enhance his work.
Eli had met just one other infected, apart from the man in the wig. She had not known anything about infected children, she had never heard of anything like that. Eli unerstood that he had survived because the man in the wig had paved the way for him the first time. But the wigged man had failed, in his soul Eli had preserved what was true and pure in Elias. He never became a vampire.
Eli had resisted the evil by his own, perhaps the love he had received from his parents had given him the strength, he believed that. But he could not put such a responsibility entirely on Oscar. Eli also had made a choice when he had infected Oscar, and he therefore had part of the responsibility. He must protect Oscar from the evil. For the infection was not evil, Eli realised, it was beyond good and evil, it was a predator that had no choice. But the person who was the host of the infection had a choice, he could choose to be good or evil, within the limits of his existence.
And then Eli realised that he had fled his responsibilities many times during his life. Instead of himself taking care of what he must do by necessity, had he seduced others to do it for him. And not only when it has been necessary because he was weak. He had tried to escape evil, but instead he had created more evil. He was ashamed.
Now he must take full responsibility for his own life, otherwise he would not be able to take his share of responsibility for Oskar’s. Oskar had told him that he had got a new life. Eli must create one for himself.
“Eli. It has begun. I can feel it now.”
“Good. Don’t worry, I'll help you.”