A Night of "What the...?"
By N.R. Gasan
[Author's preface: I've previously written a story that made people cry. Now (hopefully) I've written a story to make people laugh; or, at least, to make them smile. This is more along the lines of what I (and most people, I think) would want for Eli and Oskar.]
Like many things, immortality is a mixed blessing. There are many perks to having a potentially infinite lifespan, especially when you have someone you love along for the ride. But there are pitfalls as well. Boredom is such a threat, one that can ruin a trip if you let it. It is important to keep things interesting; one should be constantly looking out for adventure. That's why when the carnival came to town, Eli and Oskar immediately knew they should go. And so they went the first night the carnival opened. Actually, the carnival had opened at noon, but they had to wait until dark. Such is a vampire's life.
The midway was bustling as the young couple entered the grounds hand-in-hand. Like most people, Oskar was fond of carnivals, although he had only been to a few of them. The flyers for this one had been up several days prior to the opening. It was Oskar who first noticed them.
"Hey, there's a carnival coming town. Want to go, El?"
Eli read the flyer with serious eyes. Turning to Oskar, she said, "Sure. I haven't been to a carnival in a while."
Oskar raised his eyebrows slightly. "What's 'in a while'?"
"Huh? Oh...uhhh..." She paused for dramatic effect. "Let me put it this way: Electric lights had just been invented." Eli had no problem keeping a straight face. After all, it was the truth.
Oskar nodded. "Yeah, okay, I guess it's about time you went again. They both smiled.
As it turned out, the carnival had come at an almost perfect time. When they had left Blackeberg, Oskar had remained human for several months while he and Eli had traveled around Sweden. It was difficult at times, but they had managed. They both knew it would be easier in many ways if Oskar was a vampire like Eli, but she had never pushed the issue; it had to be Oskar's choice. But as winter and spring had faded into summer, Oskar came to realize that his heart had already made the choice for him at some point: He wanted to be with Eli and nowhere else. Always. So on a warm summer night, at a time when she had already fed and wasn't hungry, Eli had gently bitten Oskar's wrist. The bite was just deep enough to pass the infection onto thirteen-year-old Oskar. Now he would remain thirteen to Eli's twelve. (He teased her that he would always be "older" than her...she always gave him a particular "give-me-a-break" look when he said it.) Their night at the carnival would almost coincide with the anniversary of Oskar's being turned.
As they took in the sights of the carnival, Oskar asked, "Look familiar, El?"
She nodded. "Yes. It's brighter than the last one I went to, and the rides are bigger."
"I always liked the rides; I was never good at the games. And the food was good, too."
The smell of food was all around. For the others in the crowd, food was there in the form of pastries, baked and fried meat items, and sugary treats. There was a time when Oskar and Eli would have feasted on such delicacies. Now, such things had a bland and unappetizing aroma to them. No, the food that interested Eli and Oskar walked on two feet, with luscious red blood flowing in their veins. Fortunately for their fellow carnival goers, the young vampires had sated themselves the evening before.
Eli had previously killed most of her victims, either directly or through a surrogate; she didn't want to create more of her kind. And she needed the blood to live, of course. But she and Oskar had evolved an effective strategy that kept them both well fed without resorting to killing. The strategy was simple. When they spotted a likely victim, one of them -- usually Eli -- would lure the person into an alley or other secluded spot. "My puppy is hiding under something and won't come out," was one of her favorite lines. "Could you help me?" Once the person was out of casual sight, Oskar would pounce from behind. A great reader of crime stories, Oskar was aware that by closing off the blood flow to the brain, the person could be rendered quickly unconscious. Having strength many times that of a human boy his size was a huge help. While Oskar kept the person out cold, Eli would plunge a large-bore hollow needle into the ample vein inside the person's elbow. The needle had a plastic tube attached to it, and as the blood flowed out Eli would suck on the tube like a soda straw. After she had taken a fair amount, it was Oskar's turn. Between the two of them, they only drank maybe a pint and a half from each victim (the victim awoke a short time later with a headache and a sore arm, wondering what the hell had happened).
They also helped themselves to whatever cash the victim was carrying. Initially, Eli had been reluctant to do this. "But I have plenty of money," she told him.
Oskar, who had been an accomplished shoplifter in his pre-Eli life, explained, "You do have a lot of money, but it won't last forever. We can't exactly get jobs, you know. And besides, it used to be these people would be dead, right? Better to be thieves than killers." Eli had agreed. Now, two "dinner nights" a week, with two or three victims per night, was enough to keep Eli and Oskar satisfied for blood and spending money.
This night the pair was able to take in the sights and sounds of the carnival without being preoccupied with hunger. It was pleasant just to immerse themselves in the excited atmosphere of the goings-on around them. They strolled aimlessly among the crowd, watching the rides going 'round, listening to the talkers trying to entice people to partake of this or that. They paused near the Ferris Wheel. Eli looked from the Wheel to Oskar and saw him regarding her with a smile. "What?" she asked.
"I was just thinking how pretty you look."
She smiled. "You said that before."
"Well...you do."
Earlier that evening, shortly after they had awakened, Eli had said to Oskar, "I have a surprise for you. Wait here." Oskar had waited in the living room while Eli had gone into the bedroom and closed the door. They had been renting this small apartment for about three months; the initial arrangements had been made by a homeless man, who had been cleaned up in order to play the role of father to Eli and Oskar. After paying him well for his services, Oskar and Eli had sternly warned the man not to return to the apartment complex (their warnings had been punctuated by a show of sharp teeth). The man, who nearly wet himself, wasted no time in getting himself out of sight of the place...and its newest occupants.
When Eli emerged from the bedroom, Oskar had indeed been surprised. Eli was wearing a dark-pink dress he had not seen before; it was short-sleeved and hemmed just above the knees. Eli did a slow turn and Oskar saw she had a matching ribbon bow-tied in her hair.
As she came to face him again, Oskar had remarked, "Wow...You look really pretty."
Eli grinned broadly. "Thanks. I was saving it for a special occasion."
Eli didn't wear dresses often. Not surprising since Eli was, technically, not a girl. Nor was "she" exactly a boy, having been castrated long ago by the vampire who had turned the boy Elias into the genderless vampire who went by the name of Eli. Since Oskar had first known Eli as a girl -- and since Eli had played the role of a girl for most of the last two hundred years -- Eli maintained the pretense of being a full-fledged girl. This was an easy task for Eli, who had an effeminate appearance; she could, indeed, look very pretty.
Looking at her now, Oskar's smile broadened into a mischievous grin. Eli recognized that grin and knew Oskar was planning something. "What?" Oskar whispered in her ear and Eli also began grinning. One of the things they shared was a love of pranks. Their vampire abilities allowed them to play all sorts of harmless jokes and stunts on the unwary; it was a great way to have fun and stave off boredom.
They came up to the Ferris Wheel and stood in line, holding hands; they knew from experience that affection between kids their age is always noticed by adults. When it was their turn to give the tickets to the operator, they made a point of telling the man how excited they were to be going on the Wheel. They wanted the guy to remember them.
The ride started and the Wheel went around. It was a pleasant enough sensation with a great view of the carnival grounds, but it was old hat for two youngsters who could fly on their own. And fly they did. When the Wheel stopped with them at the top, Oskar released the catch on the safety bar and the two of them flew off the Wheel, coming back to earth at a spot near the edge of the carnival, out of sight of anyone. They then quickly made their way close to the Ferris Wheel and watched from the shadows as the operator slowly rotated the huge wheel, letting one group off after another. Then he got to the car which had held Eli and Oskar.
"What the...?" A first the man thought he had miscounted, and continued rotating the Wheel until he was sure it was completely empty. Eli and Oskar giggled as they read the parade of emotions on the man's face. He was wondering what happened to the cute young couple who had waved to him as they went around on the ride. Could he have missed them? Could they have fallen off?! As he walked urgently around the ride, looking for any sign of mishap, the two pranksters moved into a strategic position. As he look around, almost frantic, he spied the young couple not far away. They casually waved at him and then walked away, hand-in-hand. As soon as they turned the first corner, they began running, laughing at the man's comical expression.
Their next target was the Bell & Hammer; this is the game where a guy hopes he's muscular enough to whack the see-saw at the bottom of the bell tower hard enough to send the small metal plug upward with enough force to ring the bell, thereby winning a prize for his lady. Eli and Oskar played their roles to the hilt: Eli all eager in anticipation...Oskar having his face set with determination. To the guy manning the game, this was amusing to watch; after all, plenty of grown men tried and failed at this. Oskar was slim, almost frail-looking. The man handed the boy the wooden sledgehammer as the crowd of onlookers watched (some of them muttering displeasure at the boy being taken advantage of by the greedy carnival man). Oskar made a show of holding the big hammer awkwardly, brought it over to the bell tower, and raised it over his head. He took aim with a show of great care. He looked over at Eli, who watched with hands clasped in exaggerated anticipation. Her manner suggested she was thinking, "Oh, gee, my guy is trying so hard. I just know he can do it." Then in a blur of movement, Oskar swung the hammer.
"What the...?" The carnival man's mouth stayed open in shock: The solid "bang" of the hammer hitting its mark was instantly followed by the loud, clear "clang" of the bell (the metal plug had been almost invisible with speed as it shot upward). The watching crowd murmured approvingly as Oskar immediately raised the hammer again and repeated the feat. There was applause as Oskar returned the sledgehammer to the disbelieving carnival man. Then Oskar looked at Eli, who came over and pecked him on the cheek. She then turned to the row of stuffed animals which were the prize at this game. She pointed to the one she wanted and waited patiently. The two youngsters looked at the still-astonished carnival man, who realized that, unlikely or not, Oskar had won fair and square (or, at least, it seemed fair and square). So he reluctantly gave her the prize she picked and the two kids walked away, with the crowd continuing to praise Oskar: "Nice going, kid."..."Good for you."..."That showed him."
As they glanced back at the game, the carnival man was telling the crowd -- many in the assembly now wanting a turn -- that the game was temporarily closed. They giggled at that.
Oskar watched Eli as she admired her prize. "A cat?" he remarked. "You picked a cat." Cats especially have an instinctive hatred for vampires.
"Just because they don't like us doesn't mean I don't like them," she explained. "I've seen they way they are with regular people; they seem interesting. And now I have one that doesn't bite." She poked Oskar's face with the stuffed cat, growling, "Rowrrr." He smiled. Then Eli stopped, looking at Oskar intently. He also stopped. Before he could say anything, Eli put her free hand behind his neck and quickly planted a firm kiss on his mouth. After several seconds she stepped back and they looked at each other.
One of the great things about their relationship was the way they could often communicate simply by looks and gestures. The look and soft smile on Eli's face told Oskar: Thank you for making tonight special; you make every night special. And Oskar's own smile said: I'm so glad to be with you; it's easy to try and make you smile.
Eli held out her hand and Oskar took it. "I think we should probably leave now," she told him as they resumed walking.
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
They were nearing the exit when they noticed a small commotion and stopped. Off to the side, a short distance away, three larger boys had surrounded two smaller boys. One of the bigger ones, apparently the ringleader (there always seemed to be one), was saying, "I see you brought your girlfriend to the carnival. You gonna hold hands on the Merry-Go-Round?" Ringleader's friends laughed and joined in the taunts. The younger boys looked around for help, not seeing any, afraid to say anything lest they be struck.
Eli felt Oskar's grip tighten and saw his jaw clench in anger. She knew how he felt about bullies and she shared his contempt. Before the two of them could intervene, the bullies sauntered off, leaving the two boys shaken and humiliated. He looked at her and after a moment of silent communication she raised and lowered her eyebrows in answer. The three punks strode confidently down the midway, not realizing that they were now being stalked by an unlikely-looking pair of predators. Before they even had time to discuss the available options for doing some hurt to these guys, the pair saw Ringleader heading towards the public bathrooms, while his buddies walked towards one of the food venues.
The grounds being used for the carnival served multiple functions throughout the year, so there was a permanent pair of bathrooms housed in a small wooden building. A young man exited the men's room as Ringleader entered, leaving him the sole occupant. He had just finishing relieving himself and was turning from the urinal when he saw a pretty girl in a pink dress standing just inside the doorway.
"Hey, kid, you want the other side," he said nonchalantly.
Eli stared at him, her face expressionless. "No," she replied flatly. "I'm in the right place." Before Ringleader could answer, Eli explained, "You're here."
"So?"
At this point Oskar entered the room and stood next to Eli. "You're a bully. We don't like bullies."
Ringleader seemed quite amused by these pipsqueaks. "That right?"
The young couple looked at each other briefly and smiled. Still smiling, they looked back at Ringleader and with practiced unison they both said, "We really don't." Then they smiled broadly.
Ringleader's cockiness evaporated immediately, fear gripping his stomach like a vice. As the two "kids" in front of him smiled, they each revealed a mouth full of what looked almost like shark's teeth, each tooth pointed and needle sharp. Then they came towards him. Ringleader stammered, "What the...?"
END