little Funny Fictions:)

A forum for discussing fan fiction related to Let The Right One In
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Clubmeister
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little Funny Fictions:)

Post by Clubmeister » Thu Jun 16, 2011 7:54 pm

Hello, guys!
Well, I’ll never write something such incredible like ACL's “Once bitten” by 2 causes:
1. I’m not so talented.
2. I’m not native English speaker, so sorry for mistakes.
It’s a pity about both of points.
But, like all graphomaniacs, my trembling hand reaches for the keyboard :D
I suggest everybody to add here little stories (but ONLY FUNNY, cos too much drama here) ;) .
If you want to dub in Fan Fiction Section (in 'Litle Funny Stories', PM me, please). And don't forget the title of your story.

E&O and Russian tourist.
Hurgada, Egypt.

- What’s this?
- “Golden Five” hotel. Let’s take place on the beach.
They landed carefully near the row of beach loungers.
- Quiet… I see something.
- Yeah. Somebody is lying there.
They’ve frozen and looked closely for some time.
- He doesn’t move.
- Let’s go more close.
Oskar came to a man:
- He’s dead!
Eli touched the body:
- But he is warm yet. She quickly searched him. - Strange money... Rubles. He's Russian!
- No matter.We cannot afford to loose so much gratuitous blood. Quick!
They seized to the man’s neck from both sides. But after second or two of sucking they stopped.
- Something wrong with me, said Oskar. - I feel dizzy and seeing double.
- Me too. Perhaps it’s blood.
She stands up, but in a moment falls on the sand.
- We should get out of here as quick as possible.
They flew to the inconspicuous basement in an old town, which had occupied before. Though, on the road nearly demolished reliance power line.

Oskar and Eli, helping each other, are crept into the basement with a lot of efforts, dig into rags and cut down.
Eli awaked at the evening with a wild headache and moaned:
- He wasn’t dead.
Oskar heavily opened his eyes and replied:
- Yeah, but I am… Almost…
They’ve realized, that it’s absolutely impossible to do anything except lying with a minimum of movements. So, they are, till the next evening…

The moon has risen over the Red Sea and flooded a neighborhood of ghostly light.
Oskar and Eli stood on the Hilton’s roof and looked down.
- We’ve infected him, - said Oskar with regret.
- No, we haven’t.
- How is this? - Oscar exclaimed with astonishment.
- When the spirit in the blood is more, than blood itself, the infection is neutralized.
Then added with disgust:
- Whe-e-e... Russians… No more. I’d prefer Americans. They are more high-calorie. She dreamily licked lips.
- Yep. And delicious. Oskar replyed, then added in a moment: - Hey, let’s go to Cairo and bite a mummy!
- Ugh.. That would be something. She smiled wryly.
Last edited by Clubmeister on Fri Dec 02, 2011 8:56 pm, edited 9 times in total.
He is looking at me, silently, expectantly, in the near-dark room, neither smiling nor frowning; gaunt as a Belsen child, proud as the Devil, distant and beautiful as a star. [DMt.]

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Clubmeister
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Re: little FF's

Post by Clubmeister » Thu Jun 16, 2011 8:08 pm

E&O in Paris.
Oskar and Eli were staying on a viewing point of Eiffel Tower and watching for the shimmering lights of huge city.
- Stunningly beautiful, right?
- Yeah. Stunningly… And no need to pay the entrance fee.
They giggled.
He is looking at me, silently, expectantly, in the near-dark room, neither smiling nor frowning; gaunt as a Belsen child, proud as the Devil, distant and beautiful as a star. [DMt.]

DMt.

Re: little FF's

Post by DMt. » Thu Jun 16, 2011 8:47 pm

Cool! Here's one I made earlier...much earlier...


"Excuse me, sir, could I have a litre of your blood?"

"No! bugger off!"

"Well, how about if I just killed you and took it all?"

"Oh! ...will it hurt?"

"Do you want it to?"





{with apologies to those who read it first time}

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gkmoberg1
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Re: little FF's

Post by gkmoberg1 » Fri Jun 17, 2011 12:16 am

Thud.

Thud.

Thud.

Oskar opened an eye. His bedroom was dark. The clock said 3:29.

Thud.

He lifted his head. He wanted to go back to sleep.

It was something at the window! A long finger or something like that was waving slowly outside at the bottom of the window.

Thud.

The long thing was smacking his window.

He got up and snuck across the room. Mom was on the pullout in the next room. Would it be long before she was woken up?

Thud.

He got to the window, head down.

It was a...

banana.

Yellow banana.

Thud.

It was all he could do not to explode in laughter.

"Nooo...." he whispered as he opened his window.

Eli giggled. She had slept over once a couple nights ago. They had been to the Lover's Kiosk together.

And now, Mr Banana was here!

"I am The Banana! Hand over your money."

She must be hanging from the window sill somehow. Oskar reached and picked up a toy car from his desk. He held it out through the window and bumped Mr Banana.

"No. You not get money! I am here here to drive you bananas." He had to whisper.

There was more quiet giggling from outside the window.

"Careful, I will shoot."

The banana turned slowly in at him. A small elfin hand came up into view, holding one end.

"Money now or I shoot."

"No shoot! Mr Banana, here, take the car. It goes 110km like new!"

A second elfin hand swiped the car.

Banana and both little hands disappeared downward faster than lightning.

Oh no! she's fallen into he snow, thought Oskar! He had seen both hands, neither holding her to anything... but the banana. He leapt forward and looked down. What if his friend was lying in the snow?

But.. no. Eli was not there. Not even a footprint. What?

No banana. No car. No Ell.

He'd been robbed!

He giggled sleepily and went back to bed and fell asleep with a smile.

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intrige
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Re: little FF's

Post by intrige » Fri Jun 17, 2011 12:26 am

Next morning:
"Oskar, there's a banana in the doorstep here.."Yvonne said ..
Oskar: "It is?. Hmm."
:D
Bulleri bulleri buck, hur många horn står upp

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metoo
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Re: little FF's

Post by metoo » Fri Jun 17, 2011 3:57 am

I have posted this one before, but I still like it. For some background, read this posting by DMt.

"It's time to go manchestering, I feel peckish."
"Okay, let's take a spin downtown tonight."


While in regurgitating mode, I can as well link to this one, too. :mrgreen:
But from the beginning Eli was just Eli. Nothing. Anything. And he is still a mystery to me. John Ajvide Lindqvist

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a_contemplative_life
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Re: little FF's

Post by a_contemplative_life » Fri Jun 17, 2011 4:32 am

A Conversation

“Are you satisfied?”

“Yes.”

“It is good. I feared she was too petite to satisfy your growing appetite.”

“The hunger is gone.”

He rose and used a knife to cut the cords; then dragged it by an arm off the bed. It fell to the floor with a soft, boneless thud.

“Please take her away. I don’t want to be in here with her.”

“In due time.” He removed a glowing candle from the candelabra and lit the other tapers. Then he returned the candle to its brass socket and sat in the chair by the bed. He folded his hands in his lap and looked at her, where she lay on the bed. She rolled away from him, faced the other wall, and closed her eyes.

There was a pause; then: “Why do you always turn from me?”

“Because I hate you. I hate you for what you did to me.”

“Hate me?”

“Yes.”

“Why? Before me, you were nothing. You had nothing. Your family was poor; they owned nothing. As the youngest of three children, you would have inherited nothing upon your father’s death. Your older brother would inherit whatever meager estate your father passed on.”

“I didn’t care about that. I was happy. I loved my parents, my family. Now, I can never see them again—even if you decide to release me from this place.”

“If you truly understood what you now are, you would be on your knees before me in gratitude. I have bestowed the gift of eternal life upon you—something that men have sought since the beginning of recorded history, and before. Since Man understood his own mortality. Now you never need fear growing old and feeble.”

She laughed. “A gift? It is a curse! To be forced to live like this--to do the things you have taught me. It is horrible beyond measure.”

“It is not the gift that I have given you that causes you pain, but your attitude. Change your attitude, and you will learn to enjoy your powers. And, I daresay, my company.”

“Attitude?” She rolled back over to face him. “It’s not an attitude. I know what murder is.”

“One must be a human being to commit murder. Is it not so? But you surpass, you eclipse, mere humans. By my hand you are now above them. Come, child! Understand your own dignity. Long ago I rejected the notion that their laws apply to me. If you would only do the same, you would free yourself from your self-inflicted torment. How may sheep pass judgment on the wolf? Or the gazelle on the lion? The hare on the eagle? Why do you stumble on this simple truth?”

“Because it’s not right. It will never be right. You do the Devil’s handiwork, and now you have forced me to, as well.”

He laughed. “There is no God; there is no Devil. The Bible is a fairy tale, fed to young children to make them obey the wishes of their parents and society. In truth, there is only the world, and the creatures that inhabit it. That is all. You are free to make your own rules, and it would be well that you did.”

“Now you are a blasphemer and a murderer.”

He sighed, stood, and went to the window; placed his pale fingers on the sill. Then he shook his head. “You are so incapable of grasping simple truth. I thought you were more intelligent than this. I studied you for a considerable time before making my decision. Perhaps I erred in my judgment.”

The bed creaked behind him as the child rose. “What do you mean, you studied me?”

“Just as I said. It is my business to know the lives of all those around me. Knowledge brings power. And . . . more.”

More? What do you mean? Why did you pick me?”

He turned and looked down at her, not unkindly. “Because I loved you. And I hoped that someday, you would love me."
Image

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lombano
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Re: little FF's

Post by lombano » Fri Jun 17, 2011 5:11 am

-Please come in, Mlle. Would you like an aperitif? We have fine varieties of young blood, as well as excellent more mature vintages. Would Mlle. Eli prefer French or Italian? If the hint of garlic is disagreeable, we have choice specimens form other terroirs...
Bli mig lite.

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Clubmeister
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Re: little FF's

Post by Clubmeister » Fri Jun 17, 2011 6:04 am

[quote="gkmoberg1"]Thud.

Thud.

super :D
He is looking at me, silently, expectantly, in the near-dark room, neither smiling nor frowning; gaunt as a Belsen child, proud as the Devil, distant and beautiful as a star. [DMt.]

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sauvin
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Re: little FF's

Post by sauvin » Fri Jun 17, 2011 6:50 am

"I'm bored!" Even Eli can get bored with puzzles and games after a while.

"I know! Let's go watch a movie!" Depend on Oskar to know what to say!

"Mm... dunno. All these American movies are always about cops or soldiers at war or something. Always so violent!"

"We don't have to see a kid's movie..."

"Is anything good playing at the movies?"

"Erm, well, bunch of Pixar and a lot of remakes..."

Eli frowned. "Maybe we could rent something!"

Oskar brightened. "Yea... I think there's still a Blockbuster just across town. We could fly there and grab something before they close. What kind of thing would you like to see?"

"Oh, I don't know. How about something funny? A romantic comedy, maybe?"

Oskar was already unfurling his wings. "Beat you there!"

They flew to the Blockbuster, found what they were looking for. Flew back, popped a DVD into the player.

"You know, Eli, the only thing I really miss about watching movies is eating cotton candy."

"Eeww! You're gross, you know that, Oskar?"

The movie played. And played. And played. More it played, more the kids rolled around on the floor laughing.

"Stop! I can't take it anymore! I haven't laughed like this in centuries!"

"Yea... it's hilarious, isn't it? They SPARKLE in the sun!?"
Fais tomber les barrières entre nous qui sommes tous des frères

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