Coming in from the Cold

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PeteMork
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Coming in from the Cold

Post by PeteMork » Fri Feb 05, 2010 5:17 am

Chapter 1: Eli and Oskar – The Outing.

I have always thought that there must be a way to write an epilogue to this story that is grounded (as much as possible) in reality, and still gives Oskar and Eli a happy ending. I have tried, without much success, defending such a position in various threads. I don’t think I convinced anyone that the artistic, fairytale quality of the story, so beautifully crafted by JAL and TA, wouldn’t be compromised by any finagling with such boring worn-out ideas as blood banks, voluntary donors, DNA replication, etc., but I just couldn’t shake the idea. Frankly, an unhappy ending for them is almost unimaginable to me, as they represent the ideal of perfect, innocent love – something in itself worth preserving at all costs. And anyway, isn’t truth suppose to be stranger than fiction :) ? At any rate, here is my first attempt at it. Be gentle with me and keep in mind that I have NEVER written a piece of ‘narrative fiction’ in my life. I’ve only written technical instruction manuals, database how-tos, and marginally edited post-earthquake building surveillance manuals. I hope this attempt is at least a bit less dry and boring than my previous work (which I guarantee is uninspiring).

In this first chapter, I represent Eli as a girl, partly because of the contrast it allows, but also because I personally feel that Eli, having been castrated before puberty, retains identifiable characteristics of both sexes. If I’m not burned in effigy, later chapters will show the male side of her/his character.

Old link: http://let-the-right-one-in.com/fancont ... the-outing
New link (01/06/20): http://let-the-right-one-in.com/fancontent/node/143

Link to main page and TOC: http://let-the-right-one-in.com/fancontent/node/142

EDIT, October 23, 2020:
A PDF of "Coming in from the Cold" and "The Dawson Family," now combined into one novel called "Coming in from the Cold" is now available for download:

http://let-the-right-one-in.com/fancont ... 0Novel.pdf

A PDF of "The Eli Chronicles" is now available for download:

http://let-the-right-one-in.com/fancont ... sFinal.pdf
Last edited by PeteMork on Sat Oct 24, 2020 3:02 am, edited 6 times in total.
We never stop reading, although every book comes to an end, just as we never stop living, although death is certain. (Roberto Bolaño)

DMt.

Re: Coming in from the Cold

Post by DMt. » Fri Feb 05, 2010 9:45 am

Gosh!

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drakkar
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Re: Coming in from the Cold

Post by drakkar » Fri Feb 05, 2010 10:08 am

I'm becoming more and more impressed by the various solutions to this enigma, and by the effort you making sharing it with us!
For the heart life is simple. It beats as long as it can.
- Karl Ove Knausgård

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a_contemplative_life
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Re: Coming in from the Cold

Post by a_contemplative_life » Fri Feb 05, 2010 11:44 am

Loved the part about the gourmet disorder. :D

I've been waiting for someone to write about an encounter between Eli and "Science" for awhile. It's good that you've decided to take this tact, and I can hardly wait to see how the professor will respond to Eli, revealed. Hopefully he won't have a nervous breakdown, call the cops, or do something else outrageously stupid.
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drakkar
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Re: Coming in from the Cold

Post by drakkar » Fri Feb 05, 2010 12:13 pm

Being part of science, my piece of advice is: Flee! :mrgreen:
For the heart life is simple. It beats as long as it can.
- Karl Ove Knausgård

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Re: Coming in from the Cold

Post by a_contemplative_life » Fri Feb 05, 2010 12:28 pm

If and when the realization of the trail of bloodshed behind Eli sinks in, it will also be interesting to see how the Professor responds. Doing justice vs. advancing medical science--yikes!
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drakkar
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Re: Coming in from the Cold

Post by drakkar » Fri Feb 05, 2010 12:51 pm

You know I've never ever come close to rationalise this. I get a bad feeling every time I try. (Absolutely no offence Pete).
For the heart life is simple. It beats as long as it can.
- Karl Ove Knausgård

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PeteMork
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Re: Coming in from the Cold

Post by PeteMork » Fri Feb 05, 2010 5:35 pm

a_contemplative_life wrote:If and when the realization of the trail of bloodshed behind Eli sinks in, it will also be interesting to see how the Professor responds. Doing justice vs. advancing medical science--yikes!
I wrestled with this quite a bit. The more I went into it, the more complicated and convoluted it became. So I tried a somewhat diffent approach... We'll see if Oskar and Eli can pull it off. But I DO have faith in them. ;)
Any comments from you I take very seriously ;) You completely had me in your last chapter from the point where Eli appeared in the hallway:
[He looked down, yawned hugely, and rounded the corner toward the chute. Glanced up and—
“Hello, Oskar.”]
right up to the end! Absolutely bone-chilling stuff! :shock:
drakkar wrote:You know I've never ever come close to rationalise this. I get a bad feeling every time I try. (Absolutely no offence Pete).
Absolutely none taken. :) I'm relying on you guys to let me know if my solutions seems contrived or otherwise unrealistic.
DMt. wrote:Gosh!
I hope that's a good Gosh! :)
We never stop reading, although every book comes to an end, just as we never stop living, although death is certain. (Roberto Bolaño)

DMt.

Re: Coming in from the Cold

Post by DMt. » Fri Feb 05, 2010 5:50 pm

Goodness gracious me!

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Re: Coming in from the Cold

Post by covenant6452 » Fri Feb 05, 2010 5:54 pm

I'm sure scientists taste just as good as teachers, lawyers and barristas. :lol:

Well done Pete! I can't wait to see how this goes. I started a chapter a while back but haven't gone too far with it yet, concerning the medicos and scientificos that ended up in posession of Håkan's twitching body. I may have to go back to it one day.
Du måste bjuda in mig...or else!

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