Let the Long Night End (Complete)
-
ltroifanatic
- Posts: 557
- Joined: Mon Sep 14, 2015 1:35 am
- Location: Australia
Re: Let the Long Night End
I love the way your story is going.Injecting another outsider to be the kid's helper and friend.Abby making an appearance was an unexpected treat.It just gets better and better.Can't wait for the next part.
Please Oskar.Be me for a little while.
Re: Let the Long Night End
Comments on the extension to part IX:
“I don’t pretend to be anything. I just am, and people assume.”
This, I think, catches Eli's opinion on his own gender perfectly. Bravo!
“Drömma djupt” should be "Dröm djupt". However, this doesn't sound natural. "Dröm sött" is better.
“Twelve,” Eli repeats flatly. “But I’ve been twelve since the 1800s.”
Should be 1700s. Eli told Oskar he was born "about 220 years ago", which would put his birthday around 1760.
About Oskar having fired a gun:
Firearms are quite restricted in Sweden. You need a permit for each single one you have, and to get such a permit you need a reason for having that particular gun.
The most common reason is hunting. The novel indicates that Oskar's dad does hunt sea fowl. Thus, he would have a shotgun for that purpose. However, I find it unlikely that he would have any other firearm. His interests seem to be oriented towards the sea, which excludes otherwise popular pastimes such as moose hunting. Neither does he seem to be into competition shooting, which might have been a reason for having a .22 rifle.
“I don’t pretend to be anything. I just am, and people assume.”
This, I think, catches Eli's opinion on his own gender perfectly. Bravo!
“Drömma djupt” should be "Dröm djupt". However, this doesn't sound natural. "Dröm sött" is better.
“Twelve,” Eli repeats flatly. “But I’ve been twelve since the 1800s.”
Should be 1700s. Eli told Oskar he was born "about 220 years ago", which would put his birthday around 1760.
About Oskar having fired a gun:
Firearms are quite restricted in Sweden. You need a permit for each single one you have, and to get such a permit you need a reason for having that particular gun.
The most common reason is hunting. The novel indicates that Oskar's dad does hunt sea fowl. Thus, he would have a shotgun for that purpose. However, I find it unlikely that he would have any other firearm. His interests seem to be oriented towards the sea, which excludes otherwise popular pastimes such as moose hunting. Neither does he seem to be into competition shooting, which might have been a reason for having a .22 rifle.
But from the beginning Eli was just Eli. Nothing. Anything. And he is still a mystery to me. John Ajvide Lindqvist
-
SpartanAltego
- Posts: 251
- Joined: Sun Nov 26, 2017 4:39 am
- Location: Michigan, U.S.
Re: Let the Long Night End
Thanks, metoo. Reading this actually brightened my day a little.metoo wrote: ↑Tue Aug 21, 2018 6:38 pmComments on the extension to part IX:
“I don’t pretend to be anything. I just am, and people assume.”
This, I think, catches Eli's opinion on his own gender perfectly. Bravo!
“Drömma djupt” should be "Dröm djupt". However, this doesn't sound natural. "Dröm sött" is better.
“Twelve,” Eli repeats flatly. “But I’ve been twelve since the 1800s.”
Should be 1700s. Eli told Oskar he was born "about 220 years ago", which would put his birthday around 1760.
About Oskar having fired a gun:
Firearms are quite restricted in Sweden. You need a permit for each single one you have, and to get such a permit you need a reason for having that particular gun.
The most common reason is hunting. The novel indicates that Oskar's dad does hunt sea fowl. Thus, he would have a shotgun for that purpose. However, I find it unlikely that he would have any other firearm. His interests seem to be oriented towards the sea, which excludes otherwise popular pastimes such as moose hunting. Neither does he seem to be into competition shooting, which might have been a reason for having a .22 rifle.
"The dark is patient, and it always wins. But its weakness lies in its strength: a single candle is enough to hold it at bay. Love is more than a candle. Love can ignite the stars." - Matthew Stover
-
SpartanAltego
- Posts: 251
- Joined: Sun Nov 26, 2017 4:39 am
- Location: Michigan, U.S.
Re: Let the Long Night End
So, I think it’s time for a small update on Part X’s status. I’m going to be frank: this chapter is kicking. My. Rear. I think I am somewhere around 2/3rds of the way to completing it, but I’m unsure at the moment because there are still some strings of plot that are tugging me in different directions.
Even with that, I’d probably still be done by now, but I’ve recently changed jobs and taken some hits to my income and mental health. Stress about school resuming this semester. Writing LtLNE in a less than ideal state of mind is...difficult, and sometimes dangerous. So I’ve procrascinated.
But all that being said, I haven’t given up on this tale and will be seeing it to completion. My 21st birthday is coming up in September. I think that’s as good a date as any to set for getting Part X out and to you all in a timely fashion. And hey, it fits. Because this chapter contains a birthday celebration...
Anyway, that’s just an update from me. Hopefully I will reappear again soon with a new chapter for you all to read.
Even with that, I’d probably still be done by now, but I’ve recently changed jobs and taken some hits to my income and mental health. Stress about school resuming this semester. Writing LtLNE in a less than ideal state of mind is...difficult, and sometimes dangerous. So I’ve procrascinated.
But all that being said, I haven’t given up on this tale and will be seeing it to completion. My 21st birthday is coming up in September. I think that’s as good a date as any to set for getting Part X out and to you all in a timely fashion. And hey, it fits. Because this chapter contains a birthday celebration...
Anyway, that’s just an update from me. Hopefully I will reappear again soon with a new chapter for you all to read.
"The dark is patient, and it always wins. But its weakness lies in its strength: a single candle is enough to hold it at bay. Love is more than a candle. Love can ignite the stars." - Matthew Stover
Re: Let the Long Night End
Take care of yourself, Dante. And an early happy birthday wish to you.
“For drama to deepen, we must see the loneliness of the monster and the cunning of the innocent.”
-
SpartanAltego
- Posts: 251
- Joined: Sun Nov 26, 2017 4:39 am
- Location: Michigan, U.S.
Re: Let the Long Night End
After a long wait, Part X is here! Enjoy at your leisure and let me know what you think, this was a toughie.
Hard to believe it’s been nearly nine months since we began this ride. And now, finally, it has begun its end.
Hard to believe it’s been nearly nine months since we began this ride. And now, finally, it has begun its end.
"The dark is patient, and it always wins. But its weakness lies in its strength: a single candle is enough to hold it at bay. Love is more than a candle. Love can ignite the stars." - Matthew Stover
Re: Let the Long Night End
Comments on part X:
“God kväll. Skrivar till din mamma?”
“God kväll. Skriver du till din mamma?”
“God kväll,” Oskar beams back. “Ja. Just avslutar. Sov du gott?”
Assuming that Oskar just had finished his letter:
“God kväll,” Oskar beams back. “Ja. Precis klar. Sovit gott?”
However, I feel that Oskar wouldn't ask if Eli has slept well. The novel indicates that Eli doesn't actually sleep during the daily rest, what happens is something radically different and rather horrible. Eli himself even used a different term for it, when he was returning from the shop with the bottles of spirit: "vila", i.e. rest, not "sova" (sleep). I think Oskar wouldn't want to draw attention to any monstrous aspect of Eli, since it would make Eli unhappy. Eli doesn't want to be a monster, especially not in the eyes of Oskar.
“Liksom alltid."
“Som alltid."
"Det har varit länge, för mig."
I guess that what you wanted Eli to say is that it had been a long time since he lived in family-like conditions. If so, I might say this in Swedish:
"Det var så länge sen..." (It was such a long time ago, implying since I lived like this).
“Men det är bättre hitåt. Vi gick inte att göra det på våra egna. Nu gör vi inte måste.”
The above is actually quite funny...
"Men det är bättre så här. Vi kunde inte fortsätta själva. Nu måste vi inte göra det."
“Din anteckning sa att vi skulle gå ut.”
I guess the English version would be "your note said that we are going to go out". Apparently Oskar had left Eli a note. Now, there is no Swedish equivalent for "note" in the sense used here. However, since they both would know that a note was written, the actual note kan be implied:
“Du skrev att vi skulle gå ut.” (You wrote that we are going to go out.)
“God kväll. Skrivar till din mamma?”
“God kväll. Skriver du till din mamma?”
“God kväll,” Oskar beams back. “Ja. Just avslutar. Sov du gott?”
Assuming that Oskar just had finished his letter:
“God kväll,” Oskar beams back. “Ja. Precis klar. Sovit gott?”
However, I feel that Oskar wouldn't ask if Eli has slept well. The novel indicates that Eli doesn't actually sleep during the daily rest, what happens is something radically different and rather horrible. Eli himself even used a different term for it, when he was returning from the shop with the bottles of spirit: "vila", i.e. rest, not "sova" (sleep). I think Oskar wouldn't want to draw attention to any monstrous aspect of Eli, since it would make Eli unhappy. Eli doesn't want to be a monster, especially not in the eyes of Oskar.
“Liksom alltid."
“Som alltid."
"Det har varit länge, för mig."
I guess that what you wanted Eli to say is that it had been a long time since he lived in family-like conditions. If so, I might say this in Swedish:
"Det var så länge sen..." (It was such a long time ago, implying since I lived like this).
“Men det är bättre hitåt. Vi gick inte att göra det på våra egna. Nu gör vi inte måste.”
The above is actually quite funny...
"Men det är bättre så här. Vi kunde inte fortsätta själva. Nu måste vi inte göra det."
“Din anteckning sa att vi skulle gå ut.”
I guess the English version would be "your note said that we are going to go out". Apparently Oskar had left Eli a note. Now, there is no Swedish equivalent for "note" in the sense used here. However, since they both would know that a note was written, the actual note kan be implied:
“Du skrev att vi skulle gå ut.” (You wrote that we are going to go out.)
But from the beginning Eli was just Eli. Nothing. Anything. And he is still a mystery to me. John Ajvide Lindqvist
-
SpartanAltego
- Posts: 251
- Joined: Sun Nov 26, 2017 4:39 am
- Location: Michigan, U.S.
Re: Let the Long Night End
Awfully quiet. 
"The dark is patient, and it always wins. But its weakness lies in its strength: a single candle is enough to hold it at bay. Love is more than a candle. Love can ignite the stars." - Matthew Stover
-
ltroifanatic
- Posts: 557
- Joined: Mon Sep 14, 2015 1:35 am
- Location: Australia
Re: Let the Long Night End
Just finished chapter 10.Love how the story is going.
Please Oskar.Be me for a little while.
Re: Let the Long Night End
Well, let's get a party going then! Happy birthday Spartan!!
(I figure I gotta be within 2 weeks of being on time)I finished ChX with the same stunned feel that Damien likely had... oh my oh my what has he found out.
This could have dire results in a very short while.Stunning good story. Gotta to back and see if some of the progressions work right. I had a pair oh "how did he know that?" + "how did she know that?" moments. But WOW what a ride.