Disconnected Adults

[ZWD40]

I never really saw this as a problem, either in the novel or in the film; in fact, I would say it's normal

• I was actually surprised at the interest that Avila has given Oskar, at least, thats how it seems, since we experience the story through Oskar. Avila looking over to the preschoolers instead of Oskar is justifiable. The children need looking after more than the adolescents do.

• I dont think Lacke talking about the stamps beside virginia's bed could be considered as "disconnected"
  Virginia is already under the care of the hospital. Lacke has been with her, and theres not much he could do beside moping and weeping -- and that's not productive. Instead, he sets his mind to what could be done after virginia's condition passes.

• I dont think Oskar's father could be counted as being "disconnected," as his disinterest in his son was just caused by alcoholism

• As for Oskar's mom, she seemed very caring and attentive to me actually

• The faculty member that didnt notice Oskar getting whipped? well, they were facing the other way

In my experience, children and adolescents encounter more problems if they have been given too much attention as they grew up

A lone child will learn for themselves. A child that is constantly ignored will feel contempt, hatred, sadness -- but ultimately will learn to be independent. However, a person who was pampered in his childhood will face hardships in his adult life.
As the saying goes, old dogs can't learn new tricks

[lombano]

I think Avila must be taken as an exception - he takes a greater interest in Oskar than his own father does. Both times Avila is distracted, it isn't just because he chooses to disconnect or for trivial reasons, children coming upon a corpse or a fire are both serious matters; at the pool he had no reason to think Oskar was in any danger or distress. Avila may have ultimately failed, but he did try. Especially in the book, he really tries to reach out to Oskar. Another exception is Jocke, he does try to help a child he thinks is hurt...

[gattoparde59]

Maybe a better example of what Crazychristina is getting at is the drunken quarrel between Lacke and Virginia just before Eli attacks Virginia. Once we get to the hospital scenes, it does seem like Lacke does not really understand what is going on with Virginia. He is lost in his postage stamp fantasy which is somehow going to fix everything.

It is a pity that the character of Lacke wasn't as well developed as Virginia. It would have made for a more interesting plot resolution.

[moonvibe34]

I think Avila must be taken as an exception - he takes a greater interest in Oskar than his own father does. Both times Avila is distracted, it isn't just because he chooses to disconnect or for trivial reasons, children coming upon a corpse or a fire are both serious matters; at the pool he had no reason to think Oskar was in any danger or distress. Avila may have ultimately failed, but he did try. Especially in the book, he really tries to reach out to Oskar. Another exception is Jocke, he does try to help a child he thinks is hurt...

I agree with you on this lombano. Mr. Avila's interest in the wellfare of the children did seem genuine to me, not overwhelming but at least present. Maybe he felt that it was part of his job to look after them but his vigilance did become victim to circumstance as you pointed out.

[crazychristina]

None of the teachers seemed aware that Oskar was being bullied but it must have been going on for some time, pretty much under their noses. The only hint of awareness was when Conny approached Oskar to push him in the ice hole and Avila looked at them with a very vigilant expression, perhaps expecting trouble. Oskar was holding a stick though, so perhaps that's what alerted him.

[a_contemplative_life]

Yes, and there were also parts at the beginning when they were running around the school, looking for Oskar and picking on him. You'd think some teacher would see that sort of thing, if it were going on daily.

[lombano]

Yes, and there were also parts at the beginning when they were running around the school, looking for Oskar and picking on him. You'd think some teacher would see that sort of thing, if it were going on daily.

There is no one more blind than he who does not want to see. Anyway, without parental support there is relatively little the teachers could've done.

Maybe a better example of what Crazychristina is getting at is the drunken quarrel between Lacke and Virginia just before Eli attacks Virginia. Once we get to the hospital scenes, it does seem like Lacke does not really understand what is going on with Virginia. He is lost in his postage stamp fantasy which is somehow going to fix everything.

Which also showed to me Lacke's utter failure as a human being. I mean, there's no reason why he couldn't have proposed it earlier; when there was more money because he hadn't yet spent part of it on drink. It'd be very different if he hadn't done the cottage thing because Virginia had refused, but he never asked. It's not as if they'd only just met or something. If Avila is the only positive adult character in this story, Lacke is the worst failure.

In my experience, children and adolescents encounter more problems if they have been given too much attention as they grew up

A lone child will learn for themselves. A child that is constantly ignored will feel contempt, hatred, sadness -- but ultimately will learn to be independent. However, a person who was pampered in his childhood will face hardships in his adult life.
As the saying goes, old dogs can't learn new tricks

Yes, but relatively benign neglect is one thing, Oskar's parents' attitude goes beyond that. It's one thing if your child is having trivial problems he can and should solve on his own, but when he's getting physically hurt and clearly psychologically troubled and getting involved in serious violence (and leaving someone deaf in one ear is serious violence), they could at least take an interest, instead of worrying about what others will think of them as parents or worrying about skates.

[Wolfchild]

Maybe a better example of what Crazychristina is getting at is the drunken quarrel between Lacke and Virginia just before Eli attacks Virginia. Once we get to the hospital scenes, it does seem like Lacke does not really understand what is going on with Virginia. He is lost in his postage stamp fantasy which is somehow going to fix everything.

It is a pity that the character of Lacke wasn't as well developed as Virginia. It would have made for a more interesting plot resolution.

I think that with Lacke, he only wanted the things that he had lost. When he loses his friend Jocke, that is all that matters to him. He lashes out at Virginia and pushes her away. He can't see what he still has. All he can see is what he thinks was taken away. Then when Virginia is being taken away as well, that grabs his attention. His fantasy about selling the stamp and moving away with her was available to him the whole time. For this also, it is only when it is being taken away that he values it.

When I view the Lacke character in this light, he seems to me to be a rather well-developed character. His main flaw is fully developed, on display, and drives his plot thread forward. It is what leads him to be in Eli's bathroom, and ultimately what drives her from Blackeberg.

[ZWD40]

Maybe a better example of what Crazychristina is getting at is the drunken quarrel between Lacke and Virginia just before Eli attacks Virginia. Once we get to the hospital scenes, it does seem like Lacke does not really understand what is going on with Virginia. He is lost in his postage stamp fantasy which is somehow going to fix everything.

It is a pity that the character of Lacke wasn't as well developed as Virginia. It would have made for a more interesting plot resolution.

I think that with Lacke, he only wanted the things that he had lost. When he loses his friend Jocke, that is all that matters to him. He lashes out at Virginia and pushes her away. He can't see what he still has. All he can see is what he thinks was taken away. Then when Virginia is being taken away as well, that grabs his attention. His fantasy about selling the stamp and moving away with her was available to him the whole time. For this also, it is only when it is being taken away that he values it.

When I view the Lacke character in this light, he seems to me to be a rather well-developed character. His main flaw is fully developed, on display, and drives his plot thread forward. It is what leads him to be in Eli's bathroom, and ultimately what drives her from Blackeberg.

Quite understandable, wouldn't you say?
A very human trait -- to focus and be embroiled in your loss, foregoing everything else to grieve and hopefully fix everything, and maybe seek vengeance.

Given all that, I don't see Lacke as being "disconnected" -- no more than any other person could have in his situation.
Maybe Lacke was seen as "disconnected" from virginia due to the lack of his scenes showing grievance.

[crazychristina]

I guess my opinion of Lacke comes partly from the book. The stamp collection was much larger than the one stamp left at the end. He had been living by selling it off bit by bit for a long time. Thus he was avoiding engaging with life, with doing anything worthwhile. Also he was involved in a couple of conversations marked by the fact that no one was listening to anyone else. Sure he did form relationships, but failed to really engage with those people. Just existence really. The children actually lived, but the adults merely existed. A very nihilistic view of the real world.

Also from the book Jocke, just before Eli killed him, was dreaming of taking a vacation to the Canary Islands. He didn't want to take any of his 'friends' with him, each for a different reason. His relationships were not that deep.