Disconnected Adults

[crazychristina]

One thing that always strikes me when I watch LTROI is the disconnectedness of the adults, despite apparent connectedness. People together and talking but not listening to each other, oblivious to what is happening to others. Mostly typified by Lacke, who is sitting in Gösta's appartment talking about the buildings but Gösta isn't listening, or talking to Virginia about the postage stamp oblivious to her suffering. Other adults are not much different though. Teachers who don't notice, parents too tied up with their own problems to care. What makes Oskar and Eli's little world so appealing is that the alternative is so much worse. I'm almost beginning to think that the best thing would be for Eli to turn Oskar rather than let him grow up into such a ruined being as all the adults appear to be.

[drakkar]

Agreed, it is hearbreaking. So close, and yet so distant. From he top of my head, I normally see this in children's films, where adults are notorious stupid and a pain in the ass. Here this "feature" is just as present, but at a whole new level.

[crazychristina]

Oskar and Eli are the only true humans in the story. Oskar shows compassion for Eli when he offers his Rubik's cube for her to play with and later offers it for good when he discovers that she never gets any presents to celebrate her birthday, which she doesn't even know. Eli is truly concerned over the wound Oskar has suffered on his face. It's a very grim view of the adult world, and in the book even the slightly older kids are on the road to corruption with the glue sniffing and drugs.

[a_contemplative_life]

I agree. The adults are not portrayed very flatteringly in LTROI. I think it was TA who said that although they are there (present and around Oskar), their attention is turned away at critical times (e.g., when Mr. Avila is distracted at the lake by the discovery of Jocke's body), so they are not tuned in to what is happening to him.

I would disagree, however, that this is an accurate portrayal of all, or even of most, adults. I think particularly most parents are deeply concerned about the lives of their children and try to help them with their struggles to grow up in a confusing and dangerous world. At least, this has been my experience.

[drakkar]

I agree. The adults are not portrayed very flatteringly in LTROI. I think it was TA who said that although they are there (present and around Oskar), their attention is turned away at critical times (e.g., when Mr. Avila is distracted at the lake by the discovery of Jocke's body), so they are not tuned in to what is happening to him.

Somehow I find it worst when Oskar is whipped with the teacher sitting inside the school facing the other way, say twenty metres away.

Oskar and Eli are the only true humans in the story.

This is part of the magic of the story for me; Eli causing so much pain for others the last 200 years, also being the only one who shows most concern for others.

[crazychristina]

ACL I agree that this is not an accurate view of the adult world (usually), but I think it's an important part of why the story works so well.

[gattoparde59]

What makes Oskar and Eli's little world so appealing is that the alternative is so much worse.

The story really expresses a desire for a meaningful connection. This is even more explicit in the novel, but is there in the movie version (and has fueled innumerable posts in this forum). Even in there first meeting when Eli asks Oskar "what are you doing" Eli begins to make a difference simply by paying attention to what he is doing.

I would disagree, however, that this is an accurate portrayal of all, or even of most, adults. I think particularly most parents are deeply concerned about the lives of their children and try to help them with their struggles to grow up in a confusing and dangerous world. At least, this has been my experience.

Sorry I can't help noticing many children growing up neglected, not to mention what happens when they become adults. Why is the world confusing and dangerous to begin with?

[crazychristina]

At Christmas I'll be having dinner with my FOO and I'll be making a point of not talking about anything I'm actually interested in because I've been told in the past how boring this is and how it excludes those who aren't interested. So we'll have a jolly time and I won't make any effort to see any of them before next Christmas.

[gkmoberg1]

One thing that always strikes me when I watch LTROI is the disconnectedness of the adults, despite apparent connectedness. People together and talking but not listening to each other, oblivious to what is happening to others.

As a parent, I have to put in that this disconnectedness was something I noticed first time through - and it bothered me. They all seem to be lost in a fog with regard to what is happening.

I really wanted to call up the mother, by the end, and give her a piece of my mind. The points where she blows off Oskar's poor excuse of how he fell at recess or how she deals with the ice skating incident just scream that she's a non-interested party. This is her own son! The movie is full of blown moments by her and queues from Oskar that things are not right. My grade for her is a sharply stamped F for failure. I don't know how to explain how frustrated I was with her. (And it was well acted, by the way. The actress who played the role did so quite well - otherwise I'd likely not feel this way!)

And I don't know how to discuss the father without similarly going off the deep end. What sort of an example is that, falling into drinking in front of the boy? I hand out another sharply stamped F. He started off well during the first visit we get to see. But I cannot excuse the second. ... which is a shame, in that in my pondering of where all this could play out I've thought long (and eventually rejected for two reasons) that the runaways could arrive at his house and try life there - secreting one of them away in, say, an attic where dad would be none the wiser.

An F as well for Oskar's teacher. I've seen the movie and have not read the novel, yet this woman should have seen Oskar was in trouble even before the story begins. She really fails to do anything to find out what is going on.

Now when it comes to Lacke, I am of a mixed mind. The Lacke depicted in the film certainly has his failures, yet he is the only adult (except the hotel receptionist) who cares for anything other than himself. He is blown away by the loss of his friend Joche. That - i thought - is well represented. Honestly, the way a death commonly loses its meaning on the screen (TV or film) for the surviving characters is appalling. So I took heart in seeing his reaction to Joche's loss. And then his losing Ginia likely doubles that, but we are mostly left to surmise this.

That Eli, Oskar and Lacke are the only ones who show the capacity to reach out makes their meeting all that more tragic. But back to the adults and the point of this topic, oh how I felt they let each other and Oskar and even Eli down. Repeatedly!

Okay, I'm off to shake this off before I pull out my remaining hair.

[jonjon_z]

If I can offer another point of view, Tomas did mention that this film, for the most part, is seen through the eyes of Oskar. With that in mind it's not so much about the adults' indifference it's how he perceives it. Oskar was a bullied, friendless pacifist whose outlet was limited to stabbing imaginary victims in the dark. Then along comes Eli who is everything he is not and with her help, hits back harder than he dares to. Now I'm thinking perhaps he struck Connie not for himself, but for Eli.