Reflections on this film... after falling in love

[illusivepunk]

I don't really know if I should be making this topic at all, because it's not really reflecting on the film itself - it's the film reflecting my own personal life. I've seen the film so many times, and I've never gotten tired of it, but I've never gotten very emotional while watching it.

But now I don't think I can watch it again - or at least, not without crying.

I was moved by the story, but never came close to tears. I empathised more with Oskar than with Eli, because I could see myself in his place. I thought their romance was beautiful, but having never experienced something like that myself, I couldn't emotionally connect with it as much.

Well, that was before someone came into my life.

Thinking about it, it feels almost scary. She's my neighbour, we hang out almost exclusively at night-time, and we tap on the wall to each other since it's so thin (we tried to learn Morse code, but we didn't have the time). I've even sat with her as she rapidly did a Rubik's cube. She's slept over, and we've held hands as we did so. I could keep citing stuff, but I'd rather not get that personal. Suffice to say the parallels are scary.

When watching the film, I could understand why Oskar left with Eli, but I couldn't see myself making that decision. And... now? ...Yeah.

I love this film so much more now that someone has come into my life, that I've fallen completely, and utterly in love with. It feels like I've been in a waking dream this whole time. I am jealous of them - Oskar and Eli - for being able to live forever, in the intensity of the first stages of love, but since the line to their reality (I can't call it fiction anymore) feels so thin and fragile I know that the couple focused on in 'Let the Old Dreams Die' still loved each other like they had never loved before for each day of their entire life.

At the moment, things stand on a precipice - that danger of Eli leaving Oskar forever seems to exemplify it. But I'm quietly hopeful that in time, things will work out. No matter what, I think I will always love her, as silly as it might seem to you guys, even if she's gone and I'm dust and bones.

This entire post seems utterly contrived and stupid, but... *sigh*. She's my Eli, and having experienced something akin to what Oskar felt, what Eli felt, I hope you guys will too. It is so painful it hurts and I'm physically ill because of it (I actually am, I'm writing this with a horrible sore throat and cold because of all the emotional stress and lack of sleep), but at the same time I've never been happier than any other point in my life. She feels like my mirror and darker half as Eli did to Oskar, but I would never trade her away for anyone else. There is no face I'd rather wake up to every day for eternity than hers.

It's too early to tell at the moment, but I know a romance like Oskar and Eli is possible - not just for me, but for everyone, and I just wanted to share it with you guys, as fellow infected. x

[johnajvide]

All the best of luck to you, illusivepunk.
I´ve never really spoken about this, but on an important level I wrote the story to speak about the love of my life, too. The hand that pulled me out of darkness. We´ve been together for 21 years now and no end is in sight.
It can happen.
Recommended listening for more crying out of gratefulness: "First day of my life" by Bright Eyes.
Stay happy.

[a_contemplative_life]

What a lovely post. I hope the two of you find great happiness together.

[Daniel Ether]

It really is a beautiful post.
Its not "contrived" or "stupid" at all! its really heartwarming
I also wish you two the very best and happiness.

I know a romance like Oskar and Eli is possible - not just for me, but for everyone, and I just wanted to share it with you guys, as fellow infected. x

so well said!

[illusivepunk]

All the best of luck to you, illusivepunk.
I´ve never really spoken about this, but on an important level I wrote the story to speak about the love of my life, too. The hand that pulled me out of darkness. We´ve been together for 21 years now and no end is in sight.
It can happen.
Recommended listening for more crying out of gratefulness: "First day of my life" by Bright Eyes.
Stay happy.

Oh... my goodness.

Thank you for your blessing. I don't know if things will happen the way I want - we are very close, and we have talked about it, though for the immediate moment it's unresolved - but she has simply changed my life by just walking into it. Even if she leaves, a part of her will be with me forever, and I will always love her no matter what. In my eyes, she is always special, and everything in my world is brighter and more colorful just by having her in it.

And thank you for writing such a beautiful story, and inspiring my own creative energies.

What a lovely post. I hope the two of you find great happiness together.

Thank you. Again, things have only just started, like the entry chapters of a novel. We are extremely close friends despite only having met for a short time, but I never want to love another person after her. I hope that her life has been changed the way mine has with her presence, but she is still at times a beautiful enigma. She has hurt me (unintentionally) as much as she has inspired my happiness, but that's all a part of the whole package, and for the life of me, I can't stay angry at her for more than a few minutes.

[gattoparde59]

I've never met them, but I think the first two people to post in this thread have good hearts.

[Opeth]

Lovely post, its not contrived or stupid it's honest & heartfelt. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us and all the best to both of you.

I have difficulty getting through the film or book because of what I've experienced. It very much mirrors my eight year relationship with my girlfriend, we grew up as kids together and then as we got older it blossomed - that is what finally hooked me, if I hadn't had my chance with love I probably wouldn't have connected so deeply. When Oskar and Eli leave it brings forth jealousy knowing that they are together for eternity, when we graduated from high school we left and traveled around the world for 7 months alone then we moved in together when we got back. I'd love to do that again, for all of my life even but she isn't well & we no longer live together. She isn't living anymore, stopped going to Uni and I'm the one who's living and that's all I can do, keep living.

I was watching Let the Right One In last night but I just couldn't finish it, knowing how it ends and how our life together has been for the past half a year. It's too heavy for me, anyway much love to you punk.

I've never met them, but I think the first two people to post in this thread have good hearts.

I think so, I think so..

[Jameron]

@illusivepunk

That is a very beautiful, and brave, post. It is not easy to bare ones innermost fears and triumphs.

I hope that you will receive as much love back as you obviously feel for her.

- - - - - - - - - -

@Opeth

I'm very sad to hear about your girlfriend. But when someone special enters one's life, they never fully leave. *brohug*

.

[Opeth]

Mm when someone makes that big of an impact on your life they never ever leave no matter what happens although it feels as if half of me is dead, life is lonely but at least I am living no matter how tortured I am. Cheers.

[N.R. Gasan]

Thanks for sharing, illusivepunk. Quite an inspiring story, really. I'm curious: You didn't mention as to whether your lady love has seen LTROI, and what she thinks of it if she has. Or, for that matter, what she thinks of the parallels you've mentioned. Just wondering.

Opeth, I'm sorry to hear of your troubles. A hurting heart is a heavy burden.

John, I'm glad to know that Mia is still the love of your life. Hearing about happy relationships is always uplifting for me.