LTROI writing competition from Quercus Books

[Jameron]

I'm not expecting to win, I know there are many many people that can write a proper story (unlike me), but nothing ventured nothing gained.

Did you submit something Makalli?

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I'm not expecting to win either, I haven't written something like that for ages.

But I did submit something (2 minutes late )

I've been trying all day to finish the last paragraph in summary of what happens (the 300 word one), and I just couldn't do it. I mean 300 words, I could write 300 pages.

Don't know where to post it either (assuming anyone would want to read it anyway), because it's not exactly fan fiction.

I'd read it. Why don't you post it in this thread?

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[J.J.]

I'm not expecting to win, I know there are many many people that can write a proper story (unlike me), but nothing ventured nothing gained.

Did you submit something Makalli?

.

I'm not expecting to win either, I haven't written something like that for ages.

But I did submit something (2 minutes late )

I've been trying all day to finish the last paragraph in summary of what happens (the 300 word one), and I just couldn't do it. I mean 300 words, I could write 300 pages.

Don't know where to post it either (assuming anyone would want to read it anyway), because it's not exactly fan fiction.

I'd read it. Why don't you post it in this thread?

.

I'd read it, too! And the same for your new "director's cut" story, Jameron, so...

[Makalli]

Endless numbered days

We leave the story of Oskar and Eli at what is surely the pinnacle of their happiness. They have a world of possibilities available to them, and they’ve both now been set free from the crushing weight of loneliness that had plagued them for so many years. They are young, naive and in love. All they think they need is each other, which is just as well, because that’s all they’re now left with.

Oskar has left his old life to begin a new one with Eli. He has left his mother, father and presumably most of his possessions behind. He now has to start a fresh life with Eli, someone he has known less than a month. The engagement that began with the sharing of a Rubik’s cube has now been sanctified with the blood of Oskar’s tormentors; the honeymoon stage of their new life together has now begun, but I can’t see it lasting long.

They will arrive in Karlstad in the evening, Oskar needs shelter from the cold, Eli needs shelter from the sun; they desperately need accommodation. Oskar will probably also be hungry, and they have luggage to transport. They have a lot of obstacles to overcome. I don’t think they are quite prepared for what they’ve let themselves in for.

And even if they somehow manage to overcome the immediate obstacles in their path, they are still left with their greatest challenge as a couple, Oskar’s mortality. Time does not age Eli, he will remain 12 forever, but Oskar will age with every passing day, he will grow old, and he will eventually die.

I don’t think either of them want that, they are young, naive and in love. They don't want to be separated, not now, not ever. They will form a bond that joins them indefinitely. Eli will turn Oskar. Two children now together in both misery and happiness.


***



Yup, so it went something like that, I've tinkered a bit because I can't leave anything alone. The last paragraph bit has been completely rewritten from the one I submitted, I wasn't happy with that one, and I'm not really happy with this one either but now it's late .

Funny that I should write what I think happens when I don't really know myself what I think happens. I can't think of a fitting ending that is a happy one.

And the question was "explain what you think happens", I don't think I have really . Oh well. I had fun writing it.

[Jameron]

Endless numbered days

We leave the story of Oskar and Eli at what is surely the pinnacle of their happiness...

Thanks for sharing

Disclaimer: I have not read Let The Old Dreams Die (waiting desperately for October's English version) so please, no spoilers.

I agree with your statement that they are at the pinnacle of their happiness, although I see it more as a very gently sloping plateau. In my Let The Right One In 'verse, they share a few years before things start falling apart. The problems and barriers they suffer gladly, because they are suffering together. Time is the killer, and you touched on it, Oscar is ageing, and with that he is changing ... Eli is not. She can see this change pushing them apart (because she has a certain maturity that comes from existing for so long). She knows she must act, but how? She has to chose whether to turn Oscar or not, and if not, what then?

I'll post my 'Director's Cut' (#JJ) of my one shot, in case some people haven't read the full version yet. But it will have to wait until later, when I get home.

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[Jameron]

Okay, here is my entry.

I went for the 3,000 word version and it clocks in at 2.979 words. So I could have had 21 more words ...

• Epilogue
  
  17-08-1988
  Multrå
  Sweden
  
  He considered her for a long while, knowing that she would wait for his addled mind to come to a conclusion. If there was one thing he was sure about, it was this, she was infinitely patient. He struggled to find the words, words that wouldn't hurt. Even though he knew she could tear him limb from limb if the fancy took her, this was not his concern. Physically, she was so much stronger than him, possibly stronger than she had ever shown him. But inside, where it mattered, she was vulnerable. She had spent so much of her life using people for her own ends, that she had lost touch with what it was to need someone purely for what they were, and not for what they could do for her. And that caused her problems, and misunderstandings, and emotional surges.
  
  He was drunk, and he knew it. She knew it. The stench of dribbled beer and whiskey rampaged through her heightened olfactory system like Vikings on a raiding spree. There was another smell mingled within the alcohol. A less familiar, but all too obvious smell. It annoyed her that he could be so careless to lose control like that. A drunken word here, a whispered secret there, could bring their whole lives crashing down about their heads. Yes, she was annoyed, but that was as far as it went. She knew full well what addiction was like. The times she had lost control to satiate the burning within her veins, to make it stop, to become ... normal again. She couldn't truly resent him for that need to feel normal. With her it was stay alive, to perpetuate the monster that she was. With him it was to forget, forget the monster that he had become.
  
  “Yes, I spoke with someone”.
  
  “A woman?”
  
  “Yes, a woman”. He took a moment to steady his swaying vision, so that he could look directly into her eyes. “But you know that already. You can smell her scent”.
  
  “Yes”.
  
  “So why ask?” Pleased with himself that he hadn't fallen into the trap of denial, despite his inebriated condition, he allowed himself to feel a little smug satisfaction at his intellect. But he was a little too smug, and it showed in his words.
  
  They both knew why she had asked that particular question, he had wanted to let her know that he was onto her little game. Although for Eli it was no game. So with an acceptance of the rhetorical nature of his counter question, she ignored it. She disguised the hurt that his barely hidden triumphalism caused, and quietly continued.
  
  “What did you talk about?”
  
  “Stuff … nothing … y'know, the usual.”
  
  Lacking the mental willpower to maintain eye contact he let his head fall, to rest on the back of the chair in which he was slumped. His gaze followed the damp patches on the room's high, dilapidated ceiling. He silently speculated the odds on whether or not there were several dead bodies hidden below the floorboards of the flat above. He dismissed this thought as Eli spoke again.
  
  “No, I don't know. Tell me”.
  
  He was too far gone to be able to pick up on the little things that gave away her state of mind. The fact that she was talking quietly didn't mean that she was exactly calm. He didn't need to be sober to realise this. It had been a long time since he had heard her raise her voice to anything above conversational levels, even when he had let her down, disappointed her, hurt her … again.
  
  “Y'know, ...” he slurred, “ … the weather ... the state of public transport ... the election”.
  
  “So, she interested you?”
  
  “No”.
  
  “Then why …?”
  
  “Because she was there ... and you weren't”.
  
  That last part caught her off guard. She stopped idly playing with the braided cotton bracelet he had made for her just two days previously. Almost instantly he regretted saying those last three words, but it was far too late now, the damage was done.
  
  “I see”.
  
  He looked over to see her eyes lower towards the floor. Those sad grey eyes that he loved so much. He cursed himself for his stupidity and selfishness. His false pride had made him careless, and in turn had caused his fall.
  
  He was fully aware that she couldn't just mingle with people as he could, and it was pathetic of him to throw it in her face during a moment of conflict, as if to underline a failing on Eli's part. At night, once the Sun had slipped below the horizon, she was afforded a few hours of freedom. Even then, in the dark, when it was safe to venture out of the flat, she preferred to be alone with Oskar. The sleepy town, their playground. She mostly kept away from the locals that braved the poorly lit streets, her social awkwardness would get her noticed, and remembered.
  
  It was seven years on from when she had first met Oskar. Back when they both had the same goal as far as people were concerned. Her a twelve year old vampire, him a twelve year old bullied child, the two of them trying not to be noticed, trying to be invisible.
  
  But things had changed since then, Oskar had changed.
  
  “I'm sorry I ... I didn't mean that”.
  
  “Yes you did” She replied. Resigned to the all too obvious truth ... she was no longer his world.
  
  “No, I really didn't”.
  
  He had recently been seeking out the company of others during the daylight, she could tell by their essence on his clothes. It was an activity she had asked him to keep to a minimum, but it had been getting more and more frequent over the last few months. She had smelled the same people on him repeatedly, and he had lied to her. Claiming that they were shop keepers or waitresses that he couldn't avoid coming into contact with during the day. A raised heart rate and inability to maintain eye contact told her he was lying, he was a lousy liar. This ineptitude for deceit, on Oskar's part, had brought a strange sense of ease to Eli. It meant he still had a conscience, he still cared. But she couldn't let it continue.
  
  Having risen from the floor, Eli stretched. Her joints cracking loudly. She reached upwards, on tip-toe, fingers splayed as if grasping for the ceiling. Oskar caught a glimpse of her cotton swathed buttocks as the thin sweater she was wearing rode up with her efforts. Forbidden fruit.
  
  A slowly sobering Oskar watched as she gradually closed the distance between them. Her progress was deliberately unhurried. Eventually coming to a stop in front of his chair, she stood there looking at him, silhouetted by the shadeless, sixty watt light bulb that hung dejectedly from a crumbling plaster mound.
  
  In his vision, she was a single homogeneous void, a total absence of light, with an almost tangible dark force emanating from within her. He didn't need to be able to see her face, her features were indelibly etched into his memory. The cruel march of time passing her by, leaving her unmarred. Eternally youthful, innocently beautiful beyond measure.
  
  The focus of his vision settled upon the faint light reflecting back from her retinas. A cold, white light. Her eyes, portals to seemingly boundless recesses, as old as time itself.
  
  “Eli?”
  
  “Yes?”
  
  “Do you … do you ever you regret meeting me?”
  
  “Never”. A dagger to his heart. “Do you?”
  
  Truth be told ... sometimes ... he did, but he would never tell her that. “You saved my life. How could I regret that?”
  
  How could he possibly convey the utter hopelessness of his love for her. He was hers, in deed, thought, and mind. But whoever had dealt his hand had condemned him to a love that could not progress. To a love that was limited to moral quandaries and mortal boundaries. It was his constant thought that he would die, and they would be separated again, it ate away at him. He lived that thought every day, and it was slowly destroying him.
  
  Eli knelt down onto the floor in front of his chair and lifted his hand from its resting place. Planting Oskar's knuckles against her cheek she cradled the hand carefully against her alabaster skin.
  
  “I'm lost, Eli. I don't belong to this world any more. I talk to people, and fool myself that I am like them, but I'm not. If they knew what I have done for you, what I will continue to do, they would tie me to a post and set fire to me. I'm not entirely sure that I would try to stop them”.
  
  “You said you were happy with me. ‘Soul mates’ you said”.
  
  “Soul mates? I really said that? A soul? Ha! I doubt I have one of those any more, if I even had one to begin with”.
  
  She turned his hand so that his palm was caressing her jawline, and leaned into it. Was she trying to comfort him or gain comfort for herself, or both?
  
  “I love you Eli, but I am getting older and you are not”.
  
  This was met with a puckered brow and a sorrowful expression. She knew what was coming next. They had been over this a hundred times or more. He was stubbornly possessed by this idea, and soon the day would come when he would no longer be placated. She feared that he would force the issue, one way or another.
  
  “No”.
  
  “'No', what?”
  
  “No, I will not do that to you. I will never do that to you”.
  
  “But Eli, it's the only way”.
  
  “No!”.
  
  Pushing his hand round behind her neck and gripping it firmly, he forced her to make eye contact. “You want to watch me get old and decrepit?...”
  
  “Is that what you want?..
  
  “Huh?...
  
  “Is it?...
  
  “Is that what you really want?”
  
  With barely any effort she swiped his hand away from her neck before lunging towards his face. Only to stop a mere inch away from his nose. In a low growl that she hoped would leave some kind of impression, she slowly responded “Stop. Asking. For that ... it's. Not. Going to. Happen.”
  
  Too drunk for his own good, he countered with “You keep saying that, but by the time you've realised it's the only way, it'll be too late … I thought you loved me”.
  
  Softening, she cupped his cheek in her tiny hand “It's because I love you, that I refuse”.
  
  She watched Oskar's expression changing as he was struggling with conflicting thoughts. His bad moods had been getting darker and more frequent, and Eli wasn't sure she could help him. In the absence of Oskar's voice, Eli's mind was cast back to when they were first alone since leaving Blackeberg. Properly alone. Hundreds of miles from anyone they had ever known. Alone, together.
  
  She recalled the time they had spent on the roof of a health club. They had stood there for about an hour simply observing the night life of the town below. He had reached out and curled his hand around hers and almost imperceptibly had said “I could die right now, Eli. I'm just... so happy”. She had turned and looked up at him, and when he faced her she had simply smiled. A genuine smile, and that was reward enough for him. She had smiled, not realising that she had just missed the genesis of his depression. He had decided that giving up his mortal presence was a small price to pay if it meant spending hundreds of years with Eli. A small price indeed.
  
  With a sigh, Eli climbed fully onto the chair and settled on top of Oskar while straddling his chest with her naked legs bent. Her face towered above him, he glanced up to see a calm but immensely sad expression. His breath caught in his throat as it hit home that he had, once again, upset her. But it is not an Eli that has been hurt that he sees, it is an Eli full of sadness and resolve. She has to act in order end his fatal obsession. No good will come of leaving it to fester, it cannot be ignored any longer. She sees that now. She would not pass her infection onto him, how could she? How could anyone commit a loved one to a living hell. A hell that slowly leaches all humanity from you, and leaves you nothing better than an animal. Oskar had saved her from that fate simply by loving her for what she was. He had brought her back from the brink, but she was still broken. So very broken. She wouldn't sentence him to that, to a living death. She couldn't bear the thought of him suffering for the rest of time, she would rather see him dead. She would rather sentence herself to lose what he had given her and return to being an emotionless pariah.
  
  He raised his arms in order to hug her, to show in some measure that he was sorry for hurting her, again. She deftly caught his arms and pinned them carefully but firmly against the chair. He didn't understand, his face a study of confusion. He wondered if she was going to speak. He waited, but she continued to stare silently into his eyes.
  
  “Eli?”
  
  “Shh”.
  
  His brow furrowed, but he stayed there, in a curious state of anticipation. After what seemed like only a few seconds, but was actually considerably longer, he tried to reposition himself, to get more upright in the chair. Insistently, but with tangible affection, she kept him pinned. He could sense her total lack of hostility, her empathy. It was very disarming, very ... peaceful.
  
  He had wanted to say something, but it had completely left his mind, and he didn't seem to care. He forced his eyes to leave her gaze, which was never an easy thing for him to do, but right then it was harder than usual. At the very moment he managed to free himself from her piercing grey regard, he sensed a slight deflation in her mood. He was a little flattered, but he shouldn't have been.
  
  Eli sighed internally. She had felt him succumbing to her mind but he had inexplicably just looked away. She remembered the very first time they had met, she had him caught like a rabbit in a car's headlights. All she had to do was bite and suck and she would have sated the hunger that was ripping her apart. Instead, he had stroked her cheek ... but that was then, and now there was real need to subdue Oskar in order to limit the pain ... for both of them.
  
  He slowly realised that he couldn't feel his hands. They were totally numb. Glancing down he saw, as if for the first time, Eli's powerful hands gripping his upper arms. His mind woke up and wanted answers, “Why is she holding me so tightly?”, and “Why have I only just noticed?” He trusts her implicitly but he was still perturbed.
  
  A quiet, sad voice from above beckoned to him, “Oskar?”
  
  “Huh?”, he looked up to see his angel's cheerless smile. And was instantly captured again.
  
  His mind, no longer his own, is soothed and comforted...
  
  • His body floats gently in mid air, within the all encompassing tendrils of a Weeping Willow. A babbling brook is nearby, he can hear it's quiet gurgling. Eli is there with him. All pain forgotten. All regrets chased away. The sun is shining brightly and Eli looks happier than he has ever seen her.
  Once she was convinced that Oskar was beyond waking, she relaxed her grip on his arms and slumped forward. With her hair framing his face she breathed in his scent, savouring it, memorising it. She felt his shallow breath on her cheeks that were now wet with tears. A sob escaped her throat and she straightened before she had the chance to yield to the many voices in her head yelling at her to stop this insanity.
  
  She slowly climbed off him, leaped gracefully from the chair and landed silently on the floor below. Her naked feet padded across the cold hardwood floor to his bedroom, where she chose a blanket from his bed and covered him with it.
  
  She had a lot to do, and not many hours of darkness left.
  
  • He is twelve years old and, of course, so is she. They are alone in the world, and they wouldn't have it any other way. They don't need anyone else, they have each other. That is all they need, that is all they'll ever need. Each other.
  Eli stood behind the chair that contained a recumbent Oskar. She moved the blanket enough to uncover his face and neck. His head facing to the side. She leaned over and gently kissed him on his cheek and whispered “I will always remember you”. Brushing an errant cluster of hair from over his eyes, she managed to force out a broken “Alw-a-ys”.
  
  • She turns to him with a suddenly serious face, and says “I must leave, for you to live. If I stay, you will surely die. Good bye, Oskar”.
    
    “What?”
    
    But she is gone, and his world becomes dark and foreboding. He is alone, so utterly alone.
    
    He slips to the ground, hugging his knees, while a bitingly cold wind brings snow. He hears her voice as it swirls within the squall, her last words to him are “Remember me...”, and all time stops.
  Twelve hours later Oscar awoke to an empty flat, “Eli?”
  
  She was gone.
  
  
  slut

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[Makalli]

Thanks for sharing

Disclaimer: I have not read Let The Old Dreams Die (waiting desperately for October's English version) so please, no spoilers.

I agree with your statement that they are at the pinnacle of their happiness, although I see it more as a very gently sloping plateau. In my Let The Right One In 'verse, they share a few years before things start falling apart. The problems and barriers they suffer gladly, because they are suffering together. Time is the killer, and you touched on it, Oscar is ageing, and with that he is changing ... Eli is not. She can see this change pushing them apart (because she has a certain maturity that comes from existing for so long). She knows she must act, but how? She has to chose whether to turn Oscar or not, and if not, what then?

I haven't read LTODD either, my Swedish is nowhere near good enough. October for me too.

The short/medium term problems are huge though, Oskar needs normal food and a place to stay, surely the police are looking for him too. Eli needs a place to stay in the day and he needs blood. Eli will know how to survive by himself, but will he know how to help a non-vampire Oskar survive? Won't this factor into the decision of whether or not to turn Oskar? Two twelve year olds struggling, uncertain of what to do. Wouldn't it make things easy and finalise their relationship? Practical and romantic? Till death do them part. Would Eli want be un-alone in being a vampire? Would Oskar be OK with/ want to be a vampire if it meant being with Eli? ... So many questions!

Anyway, I read yours and it was really good , something I've thought about too. What would an ageing Oskar see when he looks at Eli, and what would Eli see when he looks at Oskar?

I liked that Oskar was drunk, just like his pappa, Håkan and Lacke.

[Jameron]

Thanks for sharing

Disclaimer: I have not read Let The Old Dreams Die (waiting desperately for October's English version) so please, no spoilers.

I agree with your statement that they are at the pinnacle of their happiness, although I see it more as a very gently sloping plateau. In my Let The Right One In 'verse, they share a few years before things start falling apart. The problems and barriers they suffer gladly, because they are suffering together. Time is the killer, and you touched on it, Oscar is ageing, and with that he is changing ... Eli is not. She can see this change pushing them apart (because she has a certain maturity that comes from existing for so long). She knows she must act, but how? She has to chose whether to turn Oscar or not, and if not, what then?

I haven't read LTODD either, my Swedish is nowhere near good enough. October for me too.

The short/medium term problems are huge though, Oskar needs normal food and a place to stay, surely the police are looking for him too. Eli needs a place to stay in the day and he needs blood. Eli will know how to survive by himself, but will he know how to help a non-vampire Oskar survive? Won't this factor into the decision of whether or not to turn Oskar? Two twelve year olds struggling, uncertain of what to do. Wouldn't it make things easy and finalise their relationship? Practical and romantic? Till death do them part. Would Eli want be un-alone in being a vampire? Would Oskar be OK with/ want to be a vampire if it meant being with Eli? ... So many questions!

Anyway, I read yours and it was really good , something I've thought about too. What would an ageing Oskar see when he looks at Eli, and what would Eli see when he looks at Oskar?

I liked that Oskar was drunk, just like his pappa, Håkan and Lacke.

Thanks

I think Oskar sees Eli as the same Eli he fell in love with, which to a certain extent she is. Eli would see and feel the changes in Oskar, but as long as Oskar's core stayed the same I'm sure she could accept some changes. Oskar might feel a bit strange as he gets closer to adulthood and the sexuality game starts to impede on his life. It would be perfectly natural for Oskar to conflate love and sex, and this would be awkward when being in love with a twelve year old, Håkan anybody?

If I were Oskar, I would want Eli to turn me as soon as possible. It jumps over the ageing issue, and syncs their needs, not to mention the romantic element, someone once said ... "Real love is to offer your life at the feet of another" (just can't shake off that Håkan character, lol). For Oskar to sacrifice his human life for Eli is the ultimate in love. I'm torn on whether Eli would turn him, I could see it going either way depending on circumstances. Eli at the beginning of the book would see it as an existence and not a life, but by the end her view might be different, because of Oskar.

Certainly the police would be looking for Oskar but this is the early eighties. No CCTV, no forensics to speak of, no digital tracking systems, John was wise to set his story in that decade, apart from it being about him in the early eighties that is.

As for Oskar being drunk, how could I not go for it?

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Edit: I hope we get to read the other entries.

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[Jameron]

According to the advertised rules of this competition, the winners should already know they have won.

• "The winner will be notified via email within 24hours of the closing date."

I'm guessing if anyone here had won we would have been told about it.

Oh well. It would have been nice for one of us to have won the books.

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[Jameron]

Okay, so I got impatient to find out who won the competition, and to read their entry. So I emailed Quercus Books and asked about the results. Here is their reply, received it at 09:35 GMT 01-08-12 ...

Hi,

There has been a delay with posting the winners announcement online.
It should be up in the next day or so.

Kind Regards,


Quercus Publishing
55 Baker Street
7th Floor
South Block
London
W1U 8EW

enquiries@quercusbooks.co.uk

And now, the waiting in earnest begins.

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[danielma]

Hi Jameron.

First things first...I really like what you wrote, it's very well written, and even strangely moving. It's a good indicator of how much stock I have in these characters that I can say this out loud, that reading that short scene actually did give me a tiny lump in the throat. Really heartbreaking and well written, I like it a lot

Now to the thing that might sound like a criticism. Which I really don't mean it to be, but considering you know my somewhat dislike regarding Let Me In, well I guess on first glance you could take it the wrong way. Even though I don't mean it to be. Well it's not really a criticism, rather a personal observation. Reading your short actually made me think of Owen and Abby. This is a scene that I could see happening in the Let Me In universe, to the point where I started picturing Owen and Abby whilst reading it.

The reason I say this is mainly because of this

“I love you Eli, but I am getting older and you are not”.

This was met with a puckered brow and a sorrowful expression. She knew what was coming next. They had been over this a hundred times or more. He was stubbornly possessed by this idea, and soon the day would come when he would no longer be placated. She feared that he would force the issue, one way or another.

“No”.

“'No', what?”

“No, I will not do that to you. I will never do that to you”.

“But Eli, it's the only way”.

“No!”.

That was the moment that really put Owen and Abby in my head. This is the type of scene I could imagine playing out between Owen and Abby, hell I could imagine it being played out with Thomas and Abby. And I was wondering to myself, why did I come to think of LMI? I guess mainly because in the novel for LTROI, it is Eli that offers Oskar the chance to be like her. Maybe it was just having that knowledge, not to mention the knowledge of LTODD. For myself, I always thought that it would only be a matter of time before Eli turned him. That offer was just the beginning, maybe it wasn't supposed to happen then but it would happen eventually. So maybe that's why I connected this with LMI, because as we all know, Abby is the one that seems hesitant in sharing that part of her.

Again, for the record, I really liked what you wrote and am wishing you the best of luck in your chances of winning (because I think it is incredibly heart felt and well written)....and plus, I think it would be awesome if someone from this board won that competition ..but yeah, I got to admit, I started picturing Owen and Abby in this scene. It's a perfect scene that would adapt very easily to that universe as well.