Well, first of all, thank you for liking my little story (John did all the hard work by giving us two wonderful characters to love)danielma wrote:Hi Jameron.
First things first...I really like what you wrote, it's very well written, and even strangely moving. It's a good indicator of how much stock I have in these characters that I can say this out loud, that reading that short scene actually did give me a tiny lump in the throat. Really heartbreaking and well written, I like it a lot
Now to the thing that might sound like a criticism. Which I really don't mean it to be, but considering you know my somewhat dislike regarding Let Me In, well I guess on first glance you could take it the wrong way. Even though I don't mean it to be. Well it's not really a criticism, rather a personal observation. Reading your short actually made me think of Owen and Abby. This is a scene that I could see happening in the Let Me In universe, to the point where I started picturing Owen and Abby whilst reading it.
The reason I say this is mainly because of this
That was the moment that really put Owen and Abby in my head. This is the type of scene I could imagine playing out between Owen and Abby, hell I could imagine it being played out with Thomas and Abby. And I was wondering to myself, why did I come to think of LMI? I guess mainly because in the novel for LTROI, it is Eli that offers Oskar the chance to be like her. Maybe it was just having that knowledge, not to mention the knowledge of LTODD. For myself, I always thought that it would only be a matter of time before Eli turned him. That offer was just the beginning, maybe it wasn't supposed to happen then but it would happen eventually. So maybe that's why I connected this with LMI, because as we all know, Abby is the one that seems hesitant in sharing that part of her.“I love you Eli, but I am getting older and you are not”.
This was met with a puckered brow and a sorrowful expression. She knew what was coming next. They had been over this a hundred times or more. He was stubbornly possessed by this idea, and soon the day would come when he would no longer be placated. She feared that he would force the issue, one way or another.
“No”.
“'No', what?”
“No, I will not do that to you. I will never do that to you”.
“But Eli, it's the only way”.
“No!”.
Again, for the record, I really liked what you wrote and am wishing you the best of luck in your chances of winning (because I think it is incredibly heart felt and well written)....and plus, I think it would be awesome if someone from this board won that competition..but yeah, I got to admit, I started picturing Owen and Abby in this scene. It's a perfect scene that would adapt very easily to that universe as well.
I'm glad you thought it was heartfelt because ... well, because it was, I got quite upset while I was writing it.
Secondly, I'm not insulted that you thought of Owen and Abby, not at all. I don't hate Let Me In, in fact I've seen it a few times (even though that stupid cop keeps showing up, will he never learn?
). I had never considered Owen and Abby playing those parts in my story, (whenever I think of John's story I always visualise Oskar and Eli) but since you mention it, yes ... I can see that too. I think It might be because Tomas separated that side of Eli when he made his film. We missed out on the fun side of her nature ("What? No banaaaanas?") that we see glimpses of in Abby. We also see much more of book Eli's openness in Abby than in film Eli. Don't get me wrong, I wuv film Eli 
, but she wasn't the complete deal that we got in the novel. Maybe elements of that highlighted discussion drew from parts of Eli's character that weren't represented in Tomas' film, and that were part of Abby 
.I already know I haven't won, the winner would have been personally notified before the press release is published. And as I have not received any such notification, then I haven't won, but thanks for your support, and I really mean that. There is nothing more rewarding than someone getting something out of reading one's scribblings, with the possible exception of being told that you effected someone, no matter how insignificantly
..
