watched let me in then saw LTROI for the first time...

[N.R. Gasan]

But when I saw LTROI I literally laughed out loud at the cats...

I have to agree with you on that one. If ever there was an unintentional comic relief moment, this is it. It's not only that the cats don't look realistic; the whole slap-stick nature of the scene puts a smile on my face every time I see it, and occasionally still makes me LOL.

[danielma]

This in a interesting point you've made but I still think Owen had it harder than Oskar. Now don't get me wrong Oskar was definitely neglected by his parents however we do see his dad making a small effort for a relationship with him. We also see that for a moment him and his mom are not totally estranged when they're playing around brushing their teeth.

Owen's father as far as I'm concerned never went out of his way to have a connection with his son. When Owen called him crying his dad was too quick to jump on the subject of the divorce and it's easy to see how he got lost in the shuffle. He even didn't return Owen's "I love you" on the phone. And while his mom did love him she seemed to me to be in a downward spiral of alchoholism and depression and was very unavailable.

They both had a hard time but I can't help but think Oskar was a little bit more well adjusted. While extremely lonely and neglected he had a tiny bit of positive contact with his family every once in awhile. But Owen never got that and I think that's why Reeves included scenes of him wearing the mask in front of his mirror.

Everything you just mentioned is why I found more sympathy for Oskar.

His parents aren't evil rather neglectful, they're trying there best (or at least his mother is) but ultimately failing him in every way. I found that to be much more realistic (and if anything much more painful to watch). Where as in LMI, I felt it was all thrown on a little too thick. I mean I emphasized with Owen, but it all just felt to thick in its sentimentality, and it just didn't effect me as it did for the reality of Oskar. I think the decision to blur the mother out, while stylistically cool, is ultimately unreal to me...I never found myself really getting sense of affection between the two of them and ultimately it just feels hammered on as a sympathy act, like Owen's life is so terrible and you SHOULD feel sad. Where as Oskar, you can see the mother is trying but ultimately failing him. The scene that breaks my heart everytime in LTROI is just after Oskar is whipped by the bullies, he tells his mother that he tripped on a rock and the mother shows her affection but at the same time just blindly buys into it without ever questioning it...its breaks my heart that she shows affection by tussling his hair, but ultimately is still failing him in the process by just taking his word and never questioning it. Compare that to the same scene in LMI where I kind of felt nothing towards the scene...to be really honest, any scene with Owen and the mother, I just felt nothing for those scenes at all because the character is just so non exsistant that she might as well just not be there at all.

Even the scene where Owen is talking to the father feels so blunt in trying to draw sympathy from the audience. From the way the father just ignores him completely and diverts straight back to divorce talk in that phone call...I find it rather ironic that Owen is asking about "Evil?" in that scene, considering the scenes with the parents presents them as completely neglectful and just not caring at all. It feels the complete oppesite of the way Alfredson and JAL presents them in the original which is to say they're not evil, they're just not looking in the right direction. I Alfredson said it best, that if you show a kid being tormented in his life they're not going to be in a corner huddled crying, they're going to feel frustrated at that lack of power they have. With Oskar, I got that completely, the kid doesn't wear his emotions on his sleeve, he completely guards them behind his frustrations...with Owen, I always felt the kid was one step away from tears (which is evident as he is talking to his father). Its not a slight against Kodi, but to me he showed the emotion of sadness more so than the emotion of internal frustration or anger.

I think I said this before, one of the themes in LTROI (the book and original film) is that its all about sacrifice...everyone sacrifices something for the notion of love. Without going back into specifics for each character (I've already done that in another posting)...Oskar ultimately sacrifices his ties with his Mother for the love and affection of Eli. The movie presents us a fractured relationship between Oskar and his mother which by the end of the film is completely disconnected...when I compare this to LMI, the use of the blurred out mother just signifies that Owen has long ago dis connected from his mother...and ultimately it rendered those scenes with her useless to me.

[Gavin]

Everything you just mentioned is why I found more sympathy for Oskar.

His parents aren't evil rather neglectful, they're trying there best (or at least his mother is) but ultimately failing him in every way. I found that to be much more realistic (and if anything much more painful to watch). Where as in LMI, I felt it was all thrown on a little too thick. I mean I emphasized with Owen, but it all just felt to thick in its sentimentality, and it just didn't effect me as it did for the reality of Oskar. I think the decision to blur the mother out, while stylistically cool, is ultimately unreal to me...I never found myself really getting sense of affection between the two of them and ultimately it just feels hammered on as a sympathy act, like Owen's life is so terrible and you SHOULD feel sad. Where as Oskar, you can see the mother is trying but ultimately failing him. The scene that breaks my heart everytime in LTROI is just after Oskar is whipped by the bullies, he tells his mother that he tripped on a rock and the mother shows her affection but at the same time just blindly buys into it without ever questioning it...its breaks my heart that she shows affection by tussling his hair, but ultimately is still failing him in the process by just taking his word and never questioning it. Compare that to the same scene in LMI where I kind of felt nothing towards the scene...to be really honest, any scene with Owen and the mother, I just felt nothing for those scenes at all because the character is just so non exsistant that she might as well just not be there at all.

Are Owens parents evil? Owens mom was self medicating do to her being depressed over her impending divorce. Happens all the the time. Welcome to America. When Owen needed her most she couldn't be there for him. Oskars mom seemed fine but for some reason couldn't bring himself to tell her what was going on in school. Is that mom's fault or his? Oskars dad may have a drinking problem but it seems he has affection for his son. Owen, on the other hand, was a nobody at school and he was becoming a nobody at home. He's a twelve year old kid who literally was alone in the world. I didn't feel that way about Oskar. I thought Oskars issues had to deal with school and the bullies. I was raised by a single parent and Oskars home life wasn't much different than mine other than I actually had friends and I wasn't picked on. I thought Oscar was on his way to being a sociopath. I felt for Owen, I mean if my mom would have lost control like that I don't know what I would have done. I felt Owen was frustrated and scared and it showed in his eyes. Owen was looking for a way out before Abby showed up. Kodi Smit-McPhee is a darn good actor.

[danielma]

Are Owens parents evil? Owens mom was self medicating do to her being depressed over her impending divorce. Happens all the the time. Welcome to America. When Owen needed her most she couldn't be there for him. Oskars mom seemed fine but for some reason couldn't bring himself to tell her what was going on in school. Is that mom's fault or his? Oskars dad may have a drinking problem but it seems he has affection for his son. Owen, on the other hand, was a nobody at school and he was becoming a nobody at home. He's a twelve year old kid who literally was alone in the world. I didn't feel that way about Oskar. I thought Oskars issues had to deal with school and the bullies. I was raised by a single parent and Oskars home life wasn't much different than mine other than I actually had friends and I wasn't picked on. I thought Oscar was on his way to being a sociopath. I felt for Owen, I mean if my mom would have lost control like that I don't know what I would have done. I felt Owen was frustrated and scared and it showed in his eyes. Owen was looking for a way out before Abby showed up. Kodi Smit-McPhee is a darn good actor.

I didn't mean evil in regards to Owen's parents. But they are incredibly neglectful and almost unaware they have a son. Neither one of them seem to notice they have a child for one. The mother is too busy crying herself too sleep to realize she has someone who is dependent on her, same goes for the father who can't even be bothered to say "I love you" to his own son. In their short time on screen they came across as two selfish children in themselves. Personally I felt it was a little laid on thick, but I've never had parents like that so maybe it will affect someone out there in a similar position. I thought it made Owen's choice far too simple though. I mean what was he leaving behind? You never get any sense that he is leaving anything behind and the choice becomes almost too simple for Owen (and the audience).

As for Oskar. The dynamic that I found to be realistic (painfully realistic is this). When Oskar does strike back, the school calls his mother. Even then the mother still doesn't put two and two together about what is really happening with her son. As much as she tries, they're still neglectful to him. The both of them are, even though the father tries, the booze still ends up getting the better of him. And as for the mother, she's trying but ultimately not trying hard enough. That (in my personal experience) feels far and away more realistic. No one is there guiding the kid, even if they're trying, they're still not there for him when he needs them. As much as they try, they're really still failing him in the process. You can see that in the moments of glint happiness that Oskar has with his father before it is pulled away by the drinking buddy. Whatever glints of happiness or joy that Oskar gets from his parents is usually pulled away in disapointment...that was the exact reason my heart went out to Oskar in the first place. In both book and film. That just felt far more realiistic to me then the lay it on thick nature of LMI

Both LMI and LTROI do the same thing, just one I feel tries to talk down like your a two year old about it and the other does it a little more realistically...Once again this is probably just personal preference, but I couldn't stand the lay it on thick nature of LMI.

[Gryphon]

Are Owens parents evil? Owens mom was self medicating do to her being depressed over her impending divorce. Happens all the the time. Welcome to America. When Owen needed her most she couldn't be there for him. Oskars mom seemed fine but for some reason couldn't bring himself to tell her what was going on in school. Is that mom's fault or his? Oskars dad may have a drinking problem but it seems he has affection for his son. Owen, on the other hand, was a nobody at school and he was becoming a nobody at home. He's a twelve year old kid who literally was alone in the world. I didn't feel that way about Oskar. I thought Oskars issues had to deal with school and the bullies. I was raised by a single parent and Oskars home life wasn't much different than mine other than I actually had friends and I wasn't picked on. I thought Oscar was on his way to being a sociopath. I felt for Owen, I mean if my mom would have lost control like that I don't know what I would have done. I felt Owen was frustrated and scared and it showed in his eyes. Owen was looking for a way out before Abby showed up. Kodi Smit-McPhee is a darn good actor.

I didn't mean evil in regards to Owen's parents. But they are incredibly neglectful and almost unaware they have a son. Neither one of them seem to notice they have a child for one. The mother is too busy crying herself too sleep to realize she has someone who is dependent on her, same goes for the father who can't even be bothered to say "I love you" to his own son. In their short time on screen they came across as two selfish children in themselves. Personally I felt it was a little laid on thick, but I've never had parents like that so maybe it will affect someone out there in a similar position. I thought it made Owen's choice far too simple though. I mean what was he leaving behind? You never get any sense that he is leaving anything behind and the choice becomes almost too simple for Owen (and the audience).

Well, the thing of it is, there are families like that in the US. I knew kids growing up that lived with a single parent who might as well not have been there at all. They were called "Latchkey Kids," I think because they had to let themselves in their own homes after school. Whereas Swedish people may be more reserved, but still emotional, Americans are often selfish beyond the bounds of reason, and have no problem expressing those emotions in however way they see fit, including drinking themselves to sleep every night, and completely forgetting they even have children.

[Cmaj7th]

Everything you just mentioned is why I found more sympathy for Oskar.


I think I said this before, one of the themes in LTROI (the book and original film) is that its all about sacrifice...everyone sacrifices something for the notion of love. Without going back into specifics for each character (I've already done that in another posting)...Oskar ultimately sacrifices his ties with his Mother for the love and affection of Eli. The movie presents us a fractured relationship between Oskar and his mother which by the end of the film is completely disconnected...when I compare this to LMI, the use of the blurred out mother just signifies that Owen has long ago dis connected from his mother...and ultimately it rendered those scenes with her useless to me.

Very interesting point you make here, I would agree that Oskar had more relationships to sacrifice with Owen. Him and his mom were like you said already disconnected and I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to choose Abby over her.

But I disagree with the notion that Owen had nothing significant to sacrifice. If we look back to the scene with the detective in Abby's apartment I think we watched Owen sacrificing his humanity. The detective was arguably the only decent person in the whole story yet we watch Owen turning away from his hand when the guy just wanted some contact before he went.

It was here when we see Owen's ability to let an inoccent die for Abby and this wasn't easy for him. Lacke meant to kill Eli and while he would have been justified it's easier to understand why Oskar would want to protect her. But the detective was just trying to do his job and protect the people in his town. And when he found Abby he did nothing to suggest he was going to hurt her like Lacke was prepared to do to Eli.

But that doesn't matter because Owen loves Abby and the only way to do that is to value her well being above everyone elses. Owen may not have had to give up a relationship with his mother like Oskar did but he did have to sacrifice a piece of himself for Abby.

I also liked really appreciated how Owen's mother was shot. I spent my teen years in a house like Owen's; my mom wasn't a drunk but she was too depressed to be there for me even though I knew she cared and my father was completely unavailable like Owen's. I think shooting the mom like that helped the audience see how truly isolated Owen was. He may have had less to sacrifice than Oskar but thats because he had lost it beforehand and not by his choosing.

Like I said before part of my preference comes from the cultural differences between the two movies. The family situation Owen had mirrored my early teen years and this helped me connect with him more. Oskar had it pretty damn bad for sure but Owen was just broken.