Eli's Androgyny

[a_contemplative_life]

I have tried to research how someone might cope with a horrible torture like this,

Trauma victims re-enact their trauma. 100% of the time. If you were the victim of trauma during your formative years, you WILL re-enact your trauma in some way if you don't get help. It can lead to self-destructive behaviors, ruined relationships, all kinds of really bad stuff.

If your father was abusive, you're going to seek out abusive, chaotic relationships. If your mother abandoned you, you're going to have a tendency to seek out women who are emotionally unavailable. And so on, and so on. The general rule is if you experience trauma in your childhood and don't work through it in an appropriate manner (for instance...in a clinical environment with doctors), you're going to perpetually re-traumatize yourself. You'll never have a real, close, intimate relationship because the wiring in your brain tells you that intimacy=heightened levels of a particular kind of stimulation. The kind of stimulation varies from person to person. This is usually what people refer to when they use the term "drama" in relationships. There's a reason certain people seem to have "bad luck" with relationships, or constantly pick abusive men, etc. etc.

It has to do with what's defined as "intimacy" in your formative years in your own personal little universe. Heightened stimulation (trauma) becomes your idea of intimacy, and because humans also tend to engage in addictive behaviors, the level of stimulation you need increases over time.

If they were sexually traumatized during their formative years, most children are going to disassociate in the moment and continue to do so the rest of their lives. Some people even report feeling "disconnected" to their genitals, or that they don't "exist below the waist" during sex. This is the primary reason I believe that Eli identifies as "nothing" to herself, and a girl for the purposes of interacting with other people (apart from the fact that it's just more convenient that way). She's completely cut off from her "real" gender, never developed a gender identity in any kind of meaningful way, and simply does not think in those terms about herself. There might've even been a time when she consciously chose to "be" a girl and behave like a girl does as a way to deal with the fact that her original self is long-dead. I strongly believe that some parts of this theme in the story are in some way autobiographical. I'd bet that JAL knows what I'm talking about.

So for a person who was sexually traumatized in youth, their trauma re-enactment would involve getting into intimate or potentially intimate situations, shutting off, then feeling guilty/angry about it afterwards. Again and again and again.

So it goes: (I'll be Eli for a second)

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I don't remember much from before it happened, but the images of it happening are burned in my mind, and everything I do seems to be related to it in some way or another. I remember what happened, I remember how I felt at the time, but it was almost like it was happening to someone else and I was in two places at once: the "me" that was having it done to me, and the "me" that was watching it happen, waiting for the screaming to stop and the men to be finished with what they were doing.

This is pretty much how I feel when I have to do the things I do now. The part of me that takes over -- that screaming part -- takes the reigns and I have to just sit back and watch. I'm going to snap back into a single person after it's over, and I'm going to feel awful about what I just did. I'm going to be angry and upset with myself that I'm compelled to do this over and over again, and I'm upset that I'm hurting myself and other people but I just can't help it. I have a need I don't understand, and I need to satiate it. And the truth is that it does feel good while I'm doing it. But only then.

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Eli's vampirism might be a metaphor for trauma re-enactment. I like to read it that way. She's constantly re-enacting her own trauma with other people, and is simply unable to break the cycle until she meets Oskar -- someone who can offer her a real intimate relationship, someone who doesn't threaten her sexually, someone she can open up to and be nurturing and caring with and maybe "grow up" with.

This whole subject you've raised is why I felt compelled to write that "epilogue" to my story. I really felt in my heart the need to write something showing Eli and Oskar exchanging "I love you's." They certainly deserved it. And also to get the whole issue of Eli's sexual situation out in the open in the most direct way I could imagine, for complete and utter acceptance by Oskar. So that maybe through his love, Eli could find some healing and peace. That idea makes me happy.

[genie47]

someone who can offer her a real intimate relationship, someone who doesn't threaten her sexually, someone she can open up to and be nurturing and caring with and maybe "grow up" with.

It is either JAL or TA who says in the commentaries that Oskar knows so much more in ways Eli cannot comprehend/understand.

[lombano]

I can't remember if it was on here or on Imdb that a Swede stated that Eli isn't a regular Swedish name, and a Swedish acquaintance of mine confirmed it.

I'm not sure what you mean by 'regular'. If you mean it's not that common you are right, but if you mean it's not a name that would be considered 'acceptable' or 'normal' in Swedish I don't agree. It is a name that exists in Sweden, but it's not that common. For instance, the main protagonist in Fritiof Nilsson Piraten's books about Bombi Bitt is called Eli (and is a boy).

My mistake, I thought it was not a Swedish name rather than not being a common name.

[chuck_u._farley]

Hi there,

it’s really interesting to read your thoughts. I consider Eli to be a girl. I first saw the film, and when watching it, it did not occur to me to think otherwise. Lina Leandersson’s powerful acting made me believe that Eli is girl, which i think is quite logical, since she is a girl, and her moves (like her way of running) and body langauge (especially when Oskar goes to her apartment) is very feminine. Only by watching the film it did not come though to me that Eli might not be a girl. That’s why i was so deeply baffled and flabbergasted when i read the novel and came to this ominous gender part. That part was/is the hardest to accept for me. I can’t think of her anything else as a girl.
By the way, i think Lina was a total hit for the role, being pretty and cute, but not quite the classic female beauty…That might have been the point for selecting her for the role. I kindly ask those who fell in love with Lina not to send and ocean of hate-mail to me…
Having finished reading the novel my conviction of her being a girl - despite what i had learnt about her - grew stronger.
I think the writer wanted to make with this gender-thing the readers’ indentifying with the characters harder, more disturbing. As if he would leading us into puzzle, which does not have a solution, and results in a Rorschach-test.
But if i try to analyze the story logically, i come finally to the point, that Eli must be a girl by choice. For the first time when came to this conclusion, i was frightened a bit. On one hand i feel that the novel treates sexuality quite rude and cold, while on the other hand the emotions of the characters vary quite on large scale.

I felt uncomfortable when i read about the sexual/phedophilic part. I am from hungary, so i read the hungarian translation, in which there was chosen a milder language to express those parts, compared to the english version, which i found a bit ruder (unfortunately i can not read the original version, but i would be curious how the writer expressed it, harsh or dimmed).
And on the contrary, i found in the hungarian version Eli’s letters to be more like love letters, for example the usage of the word „dear” which clearly indicates a love (in the meaning of being in love with someone) relationship between two individuals. In the english version i found the letters to be somewhat refrained. Just somewhat, but i sensed a difference. But in both translation it is still obviuos (for me), that a non-gay person would not write letters in such manners (especially with hearts) to someone in the same sex. If we take granted that we are talking about „innocent childhood love”, then i think we can rule out homosexuality, just because the writer does not implies that Eli would be homosexual. Neither is Oskar.

Oskar’s sexuality is quite simple, he is straight and i guess he is not much interested in sexuality at his age (considering the lazy curiosity when he was reading the porn mag), he just wants to have a partner in a normal way. He is attracted to girls (although i can’t recall if he had any affections toward other girls, but in my opinion does not matter since he is very young and only at the start of collecting experiences) and wants Eli to be his girlfriend. He formulates quite early in the story that he considers Eli to be a girl and she quickly becomes from A girl into THE girl. He has a tough time when learns that Eli is not only a creature of the supernatural, but she used to be a boy, but he overcomes this problem mostly by avoiding and not mentioning it (what an adult, or human solution… ).

Eli is thougher case and the novel suggested a whole lot of nasty things to me. I figure she has quite a lot sexual experiences in her unlife (for example having been raped), though I doubt it that they were ever joyful, or even pleasant (just a loop forward, when she meets the zombie-Hakan and realizes his erection, she is almost relieved, she thinks, „oh, that’s something i am familiar with, now i know what he wants, i can laugh now”)… For instance, if i interpret correctly, she was turned into a vampire in order to be something like a sexdoll of a perverted old vampire lord (i hope that she somehow got her revenge for this), and he neutered her by doing so. Since she was prior puberty then, i guess she never experienced the hormonal changes which come at that age, so she never set her foot on the path of becoming man from a boy. Which means for me that she had much more easier to switch her mind to a feminine modus (imagine, that you are a sexually active young man, or a father with children and this happens to you, i guess one would go crazy, only the speed of the process may differ between people). I think before escaping form the lord, he used her for his sick purposes, which finally came handy to Eli, in a way (she learns about the existence of perverts, and how to use and exploit them). Eli is a predator, or rather a survivor. Her poor and isolated existence, and her tragic experiences made her tough. She is the person who suits the proverb „which does not kill you makes you stronger” perfectly. She herself proved with deeds, that she uses her body and appearence as a tool in order to satisfy her needs. And that’s one of my points, coz i consider this a totally feminine method (no offense meant to girls ) of living or surviving. And besides her pretty-beautiful appearence, she is bright and intelligent. I guess when she was mutilated, she was on the verge of sexualty, she knew the gender roles, and even might have had some innocent experiences with her peers (if there were any, i dunno). So after the mutilation she changed from a boy who was not good for much into a strong survivor. I presume this must have been a quick process, considering Eli’s action, which were mostly lethally effective (dont forget her accomplishent: life over 200 years and aquiring lot of money, and i think the writer meant reaallyyy a LOT).
And that was for me another point. She had chose to use the tools she had, and if that meant that she had to be a child to lure victims with her innocence, then she was child, but when she had to be a girl (or more directly expressed, an object of desire), then she was that. I remember the part when Hakan is bargaining with her, and she doses her graces just exactly to the inevitable level (Boy, i hated that when girls played this game with me, and no, i dont mean the corpse-carrying-blood-collecting part ). I figure Hakan was not the first to be seduced by her, and when we’re at this, don’t forget that vampire mithology has a strong sexual content, just remember Drakula (or the table dance of From dusk till dawn ), and choosing this kind of supernatural creature brings some kind of stereotypes with (and i guess the writer was aware of this). So cloncuding this, my version of Eli has decided to become a girl to get better by, since she had nothing to lose. Her decision was based mostly on intelligence and on will to survive, beacuse for herself sexuality or gender was of no significant importance and especially no way a source of joy, and her original gender reminded her only on her tragedy and inability to return to a normal life.

And now (if there is still anyone reading, or i succeded to bore someone to death), i come to my final point why i think of Eli as a girl, not a boy or a genderless person. As Eli comes close to Oskar, she feels warmth, affection and love, and these feelings were exiled from her life for a long time (possibly for her whole unlife). As she recognizes that Oskar considers her as a girl, she makes some attempts to correct Oskar, but then she abandons it. I guess she has a turning point like Oskar: Oskar had to cope with the idea that he is not gay, but he loves a vampire boy. He struggles, and finally gives up his male pride and says, so be it, no matter who/what she is, i want to be with her. I think of Eli as she has some hesitations as well, but not as strong as Oskar. She concludes – both consciously and subconscoiusly - that if being a girl makes easier for Oskar to accept her, than be it, it would not be that much change for her. That’s why she chose a the mother’s dress. She could have done otherwise, could have chosen one of Oskar’s cloths and have shown him that she is not his love but his friend. She did not, as she did not grow her lost genitals back over the years, although she is capable to transfrom her body on a quite wide range. This means for me that gender was not much important for her, but on the occasions when it came to be of importance, she acted like a girl, according to her chosen appearence and name.

[gattoparde59]

I figure Hakan was not the first to be seduced by her, and when we’re at this, don’t forget that vampire mithology has a strong sexual content, just remember Drakula (or the table dance of From dusk till dawn ), and choosing this kind of supernatural creature brings some kind of stereotypes with (and i guess the writer was aware of this).

We are never told much about how Eli survived all those years before she met Oskar, but it is definitely implied that there were many "guardians" before Hakan, and that Eli knows quite a bit about sex. I would go so far as to say that Eli regularly sold herself as a child prostitute, exactly like the two child prostitutes that appear in the novel. The nameless many that purchased Eli's services paid a high price for them.

Hakan himself is just one of the many clues about Eli's gender. Hakan clearly likes boys.

It has been said already, but one of the things that attracts Eli to Oskar is the idea of having a non-sexual relationship with a child that is much like herself.

[drakkar]

But if i try to analyze the story logically, i come finally to the point, that Eli must be a girl by choice. For the first time when came to this conclusion, i was frightened a bit. On one hand i feel that the novel treates sexuality quite rude and cold, while on the other hand the emotions of the characters vary quite on large scale.

That is my take of the story also. I think one of the reasons Eli is such a fascinating/genial character, is all these small decisions you make about her that in reality really tells you a lot about yourself. The book leaves some clues, in that Eli(as) was devoted to/identified strongly with his mother, and when he was turned a vampire, this femininity also became his last attachment to humanity. Just my two cents.

I felt uncomfortable when i read about the sexual/phedophilic part. I am from hungary, so i read the hungarian translation, in which there was chosen a milder language to express those parts, compared to the english version, which i found a bit ruder (unfortunately i can not read the original version, but i would be curious how the writer expressed it, harsh or dimmed).

I've read it in Norwegian (I'm Norwegian) and Swedish. I'm not familiar with this type of literature, but my take is that it is both dimmed and clinical informative. Not rude. I could compare it with the description of Eli's attack on Jocke - brutally informative.

So cloncuding this, my version of Eli has decided to become a girl to get better by, since she had nothing to lose. Her decision was based mostly on intelligence and on will to survive, beacuse for herself sexuality or gender was of no significant importance and especially no way a source of joy, and her original gender reminded her only on her tragedy and inability to return to a normal life.

That's my impression also.

As she recognizes that Oskar considers her as a girl, she makes some attempts to correct Oskar, but then she abandons it.

I think Eli was in unknown territory here. It's the first time in maybe a couple of centuries someone treats Eli like a peer human being/child. So she is uncertain of herself and the situation. I am pretty sure Eli believed that Oskar (like everybody else) took her for a girl. I think Eli was torn between the wish to telling Oskar the truth and the fear of losing him. In fact it takes some time (it's outside the candy store) before Eli actually realises that somebody could like/love her unconditionally. And she doesn't even quite believe in this possibility when she is asking.

[PeteMork]

I figure Hakan was not the first to be seduced by her, and when we’re at this, don’t forget that vampire mithology has a strong sexual content, just remember Drakula (or the table dance of From dusk till dawn ), and choosing this kind of supernatural creature brings some kind of stereotypes with (and i guess the writer was aware of this).

We are never told much about how Eli survived all those years before she met Oskar, but it is definitely implied that there were many "guardians" before Hakan, and that Eli knows quite a bit about sex. I would go so far as to say that Eli regularly sold herself as a child prostitute, exactly like the two child prostitutes that appear in the novel. The nameless many that purchased Eli's services paid a high price for them.

Hakan himself is just one of the many clues about Eli's gender. Hakan clearly likes boys.

It has been said already, but one of the things that attracts Eli to Oskar is the idea of having a non-sexual relationship with a child that is much like herself.

This is reinforced in the book, when Eli gets suspicious and her voice turns hard when Oskar asks if she would "... want to be together with me." After she refuses and, sensing his disappointment, asks if he wants to kiss her, he gets upset and says "no, I don't." Only then does she relax and say, "Then we can go out. We can be together." The implication is that she want no part of a sexual relationship with him, and is very happy when he accepts her as she is. She has her first opportunity at a real loving relationship and senses it immediately.

I also agree with chuck u. farley. Eli has consciously made the decision to be a girl. Her mannerisms in both the book and the film (especially the film) are completely consistant with this idea, in my opinion. Even if it began as a survival tactic, in the present it seems to be a done deal.

[moonvibe34]

That is my take of the story also. I think one of the reasons Eli is such a fascinating/genial character, is all these small decisions you make about her that in reality really tells you a lot about yourself.

i agree that the truth behind Eli's gender threw a monkey wrench into the gears and cogs of my tiny brain and caused a great deal of introspection. even though i grew up in the 80's here in the deep south which has traditionally been a very conservative region i have never had any issues with a persons race, religion, sexual preference, ect... i my self have always been intrigued by other cultures and am drawn to people by their character and not their preferences. i don't know yet why i was put on this earth but i know i am not here to judge. i wanted Eli to be a girl for Oskar's sake so that their relationship would grow and not stall because of Oskar's sexual preference.
i wrestled with Eli's gender until i realized that the love between Oskar and Eli was pure and true. their love doesn't require anything of a sexual nature. it only requires that they are together and that is enough, for them and me.

[chuck_u._farley]

Re: Eli's Androgyny
Szerző: gattoparde59 » kedd dec. 29, 2009 1:49 pm

Hakan himself is just one of the many clues about Eli's gender. Hakan clearly likes boys.

Was not Hakan into children? I mean was gender important for him? If yes, then i think he either considered Eli as a boy, as i consider her as a girl, or he - just like Oskar - wanted her without regards for her gender. But yes, you are right, in the book his pedophile acts were connected to boys.

[chuck_u._farley]

i agree that the truth behind Eli's gender threw a monkey wrench into the gears and cogs of my tiny brain and caused a great deal of introspection. even though i grew up in the 80's here in the deep south which has traditionally been a very conservative region i have never had any issues with a persons race, religion, sexual preference, ect... i my self have always been intrigued by other cultures and am drawn to people by their character and not their preferences. i don't know yet why i was put on this earth but i know i am not here to judge. i wanted Eli to be a girl for Oskar's sake so that their relationship would grow and not stall because of Oskar's sexual preference.
i wrestled with Eli's gender until i realized that the love between Oskar and Eli was pure and true. their love doesn't require anything of a sexual nature. it only requires that they are together and that is enough, for them and me.

Deep south? "I wish I were in Dixie, hooray-hooray!" I like your hymn's tune. Though i found the unionist version of it extremely funny ("Each Dixie-boy must understand that he must mind his Uncle Sam! )