In second grade, it was all easy. A crush was only a crush. Nothing serious, I was happy keeping my crush silent. That's the difference a crush lasts for a few days, it leaves with the person you keep looking at. And when you fall in love, well that's when things get complicated. That person invades your thoughts, dreams, even in visions they are present. Well in second grade what I felt was a crush. His name was Jim. Of course I found a reason, he was my reason for going to school, my reason to smile. I was happy. I had a smile in my face. I had nothing to worry about, just seeing him made my day.
He did not know I liked him. I was too shy. I am still. To find the words, to tell someone what you feel. I was scared, frighten, so I barely spoke in class. I try once to tell him. My dad had brought this cool watches from his work. they were yellow, with red strippes. They were made out of plastic. I had gotten a bunch in my backpack. It took me the whole day to find, to take the strenght, but I did! I approach him as he was seating by one of the benches during recess. I gave him the watch.
"For me."
I nodded. But then the moment came to an end when the other kids from the class saw the watch, and well they wanted one too. During the remainder of the day everyone in class talked about the watches, but once the whole commotion was over I found most of the watches in the trash. In most watches the batteries had run out, in others the strap did not work. what I wish the most though was that he had not thrown his away. That he had kept it safely because part of me wanted to believe that he liked me too.
To me, well the only reason I went to school was to see him, how to explain, is this wonderful feeling! I was happy, I smiled, I was up in heaven! Happy! Happy!
"Why do you smile?"
Mom used to ask me all the time, she was cheerful, she wanted me to smile all the time.
"I just feel happy." I kept my smile for most of the school year. That is until he left. I felt devastated the day I found out. Jim would be gone, to not see him the next day. That was like dying for me! To know I would not see him, it was terrible. Then his last day came, and that was it, no fuzz was made, no goodbye gift, the next day came he was no longer there. But I was only 8, and that sadness left, I kept remembering him, each time I closed my eyes I could see him, as he was, as he would always be for me. I used to run home, become restless, waiting for the night to come so I could meet him in my dreams. That also left, after a while all I had to do was closed my eyes and I could always see him... But he was just a crush.
