How has ltroi affected your life?

[OskarTheArsonist]

lowkey gave me depression for a couple of months after finishing it.

[cmfireflies]

lowkey gave me depression for a couple of months after finishing it.

May I ask why? Most consider the ending to be happy.

[Phobos]

Then we've all kissed Eli. And it has changed us.

Oskar? She loves him, and that changed her.

well, maybe she doesn´t want to be kissed by strangers

[dongregg]

"Oskar, that was like a real kiss, right? I kind of liked it."

"It was okay? Maybe because we like each other so much?"

Eli compares Oskar's kiss to how it felt when she let grownup helpers kiss her, which just felt stupid.

Maybe Oskar's right. Maybe it's supposed to feel good when you kiss somebody you like.

[OskarTheArsonist]

lowkey gave me depression for a couple of months after finishing it.

May I ask why? Most consider the ending to be happy.

sad it was over. I can read it again as many times as I wish but it will never be the same as the first time.

[dongregg]

Thanks *OskarTheArsonist*. I feel that there is something special about what you share here.

[Serendipitous]

I was given the book at 14 at a really turbulent time in my life. I was dealing with an eating disorder, sexual trauma, gender dysphoria (born a boy, wanted to be seen as a girl), and was pushed away by the boy I liked because he thought I was gross and embarrassing.

For these reasons I ended up relating to Eli really strongly. At first I felt protective of this fictional child like they were my own, but pretty soon I realized that it was because I was seeing myself in her. Like a preserved piece of my childhood.

It felt like LTROI was my "coming of age" novel so to speak. I grew up unlike so many people around me that it was a miracle to read a story about someone who was "like me". The minute Eli first said "Oskar, I'm not a girl" I thought "Wait no, JAL can't POSSIBLY mean that, no one else feels that way. No one else IS that way, are they? It must just mean Eli is a vampire." But sure enough, Eli was born a boy and it made it real for me that someone could see me as a girl then. And Eli's relationship with Oskar made it real to me that I could let myself be loved without my damage getting in the way.

I always find myself coming back to this story when I'm going through rough times, which has been a lot lately, and I'm going to be forever thankful to JAL for writing it. It's given me a metaphor for approaching a lot of the more scary, uncomfortable things inside myself.

[Siggdalos]

Thank you for sharing, Serendipitous, and I'm sorry you had to go through those hardships. Welcome to the forum.

[dongregg]

Thanks for sharing, Serendipity. My original reply to this post is somewhere in this thread.

[Serendipitous]

Thank you for sharing, Serendipitous, and I'm sorry you had to go through those hardships. Welcome to the forum.

I appreciate the welcome! Sorry for getting raw first thing haha, it's fine I'm a mostly healed young adult now.