The "gay" father scene

[Wolfchild]

It's absolute taboo to drink alcohol in front of children. I don't know about other countries, but it is in Sweden...

Ah ha! This a key piece of information that I had not seen anyone bring up before. In the US, it is distasteful to get drunk of front of your kids (at least among polite society - and certainly in my house) but drinking socially in front of them is perfectly acceptable. Now I understand the huge divide of opinion about this scene.

For North Americans, it would be understandable that hospitality could lead Erik to offer his visitor a drink. Even in front of Oskar we would see this as normal and perhaps even expected. Not seeing any evidence that they then go on to get toasted, we naturally ponder other explanations for the clear unease that all of three of the characters display in that scene. What we see is

1. Janne shows up wearing no coat and sandals - clearly he lives nearby.
2. He enters without knocking - clearly he is very familiar with Erik.
3. Oskar is immediately unhappy - not just disappointed but unhappy, that Janne is there. Whatever is going on, Oskar already knows about it and doesn't like it one bit.
4. We see three of them sitting around in awkward silence. The two grown-ups appear to be killing time waiting for something.

Not understanding that Erik is breaking a societal taboo by getting out the bottle, we Americans find another likely explanation. Erik's father being would explain his separation from Oskar's mother, it would explain why Oskar is not happy to see Janne show up, and it would explain why Erik and Janne sit around in awkward silence waiting to for Oskar to go bed.
</revelation>

Many thanks for this tidbit.

[Chimp]

As a small detail about the drinking buddy, Janne... I don't know how much you've discussed him, it's mentioned in detail in the book, but he is also mentioned in the movie when the alcoholics in the restaurant discuss the new man sitting in the corner drinking finishing his milk (Eli's feeder).

"He has moved into Janne's old apartment."
Yes, the same Janne that now lives next to Oskar's father out in a rural area. An old drinking buddy that probably hung around drinking with those bums in the restaurant, as they apparently knew him. Apparently, he moved out to the same area when Oskar's father separated with his mother (for obvious reasons).

And to clarify the drinking taboo in front of children in Sweden: I guess it could be socially acceptable to drink a beer or two, but not more. Bringing forth a visible bottle of vodka is a big no no, especially if you start drinking from it. This originates from the problem that Swedes are generally bad at keeping drinking to a moderate level. Swedes usually don't drink alcohol during normal weekdays, but save it all for the friday or saturday.

As you say, Oskar understands exactly what will happen the moment Janne enters the house, hence his disgust and unhappiness. It has clearly happened before.

[TΛPETRVE]

Thanks for supporting my theory that Janne moved along with Erik .

I guess Erik and Janne also were drinking together with Lacke and the others when still living in Blackeberg.

[TheVoxHumanus]

Easy-peasy.

Have the friend do a subtle little nod toward the kitchen, followed by Oskar's dad opening up the cupboard and breaking out the bottle. Scene fixed. And then it's very clear what the friend wants even to someone who isn't familiar with Swedish culture.

[lombano]

(Thanks) Yeah, of course they're embarrassed by Oskar's presence. "Hrrm, shall we?" It's up to Oskar's father, after all, it's his boy who is visiting. It's absolute taboo to drink alcohol in front of children. I don't know about other countries, but it is in Sweden, since when Swedes drink, we usually get drunk. This was especially bad during the 80's as I see it. Every child absolutely detests to see their parents and role models get drunk, as it's scary and very uncomfortable for them to experience. And every grownup know this, as they have been children themselves.

This is where Swedes see them as alcoholics, while people of other nationalities may see their insinuating looks and awkwardness as gay. Perhaps people who have parents who are/ were drunks also see the love is towards the bottle in the cabinet and not about feeling eachother up.

If Alfredson should have changed anything for an international audience, it should probably have been to have less smiles in the scene when the two men exchanged looks, toned down the happiness and enhanced the awkwardness. A slight nod towards the cabinet from the drinking buddy would have been too obvious and too much, since he was not the one to decide if they should drink or not.

This, I think clarifies the issue entirely, as it's different in other cultures. In Latin cultures for instance, it's entirely socially acceptable to drink alcohol in front of your children, with a meal, even in the absence of guests. With guests it's acceptable to have even strong drinks (in small amounts). It is not socially acceptable to get drunk in front of your children. Thus there would be no obvious initial reason for awkwardness for 'We have a guest, I'll serve him a shot of vodka' - it might seem like a rather strong choice of drink, but not really taboo.
When I first watched, I thought that while alcoholism might be enough reason to explain the awkwardness and Oskar's reaction, it didn't quite add up, that there seemed to be a hint of something else, probably but not necessarily sexual. But then in the cultures I'm familiar with it's acceptable to drink socially in front of your children.

[Struan]

Thanks so much Chimp for that key piece of info.

I found the scene with the friend very weird and the looks exchanged between them very creepy, and at one point I feared for Oskar himself. I remember being quite anxious at the direction things were seemingly going. Oskar was so clearly uncomfortable. In the end, I concluded the father and his friend must be gay. So did my wife, and so did every single person I know that watched the movie in this southern corner of the world. Nobody thought of a problem with alcohol.

That said, when I read the book and the father's addiction was explained, I found all the clues were there in the scene. The bottle shot, the semi-reproaching "ah, you had some" (or something of the sort) comment uttered by the friend. Still, as far as the information contained within the movie is concerned, the point is not stressed enough (at least for international audiences, it seems) and the homosexuality interpretation is valid and, as such, completely understandable.

Which makes more jarring the fact that some people, armed with additional knowledge from the book, still seem to find the perfect excuse to act all high and mighty towards the unwashed masses that "don't get it" -- usually slipping in a few cheap shots at "dumb" America. The irony, it burns.

[Balb Kubrox]

I'm surprised at how much attention this scene has warranted.
When I saw it , all I saw was a lonely boy , happy to be with his Dad, then sad because his Dad's friend turned up for a booze-up and now he couldnt have him all to himself.

Thought the other guy looked a bit creepy but thats 'cause of the shakespeare hair-do and beard combo.

[Wolfchild]

Thought the other guy looked a bit creepy but thats 'cause of the shakespeare hair-do and beard combo.

It's not the haircut. Janne has a really creepy vibe about him in that scene.

[RaVenBlackehart]

It's not the haircut. Janne has a really creepy vibe about him in that scene.

Heeeere's Janne!

[TheVoxHumanus]

Oh my god that's hilarious.